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House
The Choice
Original Air date: May 3, 2010
Shannon – Associate Editor
shannon@thetwocentscorp.com
House goes out with his coworkers, outs his patient and starts a downward spiral of drinking. Sound like a good episode? It gets better when we see some gratuitous House karaoke! Let’s get to it!
The Nicole, bride, and her father walk down the aisle to Ted, the groom. He looks fine, and she looks incredibly nervous. Ted goes to recite his vows but he can’t speak, starts choking and passes out. Man, that is so rude.
Ted is not speaking in the ER when House limps up. House thinks he’s faking so he jabs Ted with a needle and, y’all it’s a miracle because Ted says, “Ow!” Hallelujah! Ted claims that he was just able to speak, just now, while his fiancée looks bewildered. Ted and Nicole walk out of the hospital and Ted suggests they go get married right then and when she agrees he collapses again. Ok show, we get it. Guys don’t like commitment and weddings.
So Hadley and Taub get the job of breaking into Ted’s old house to check for toxins and happen to run into Ted’s boyfriend of 3 years. Ted says they weren’t sleeping together but there were, certain, um, incidents. But he’s totally not gay, y’all because he went to conversion therapy to make him straight. As House says, “they zapped the fabulous right out of him” by using shock therapy to make the gay go away.
So Taub is still seeing Maya and doesn’t want his wife to know, but of course House knows. Taub asks House to dinner and House agrees as long as Rachel goes. Taub agrees but then shows up without her with a lame excuse of Rachel being in a ceramics class that he forgot all about. House knew he’d do that so he texted Rachel earlier and here she is. House greets her and then makes his exit using a ceramics class as an out. He says Taub is in it too and that Rachel should totally join. She buys it. So House basically gives Taub a cover to use while he’s cheating.
Hadley invites House to a lesbian bar. House realizes that Wilson has been setting him up with his team. Wilson says he wants House to have company, basically to save his own relationship with Sam. House is less than thrilled with this idea but says he’ll do it for Wilson. House and Foreman and Chase go out and sing karaoke to “Midnight Train to Georgia”. Squee!
Kotter, the boyfriend, shows up with Ted’s favorite candy and Nicole gets suspicious when he starts crying over Ted and holding his hand. Nicole orders him out. When Ted is awake again, Nicole tells him about Kotter. Ted tells her that one night he got really drunk and slept with Kotter and then he tells her about the conversion camp. That’s when his head implodes. No, not really, but he does have a killer headache.
Lots of stuff happens and they need to bring Kotter in to double check the history. So there are Kotter, Ted, and Nicole talking about Ted and his erectile dysfunction, and then, there’s a…test. You don’t want to know where they gave him the shot. And then Ted lactates.
House argues with Wilson over whether or not he can change and that’s when he realizes that he has a congenital condition that affects his pituitary gland. Also, he’s gay.
Kotter comes by with more peppermint bark and Ted tells him he’s staying with Nicole. Ted suggests to Nicole that they go ahead and book the church and do wedding take two. She’s not on board and breaks up with Ted.
Cuddy asks House to go out to dinner (unprompted by Wilson) but House refuses. She says she just wants them to be friends and House says that’s the last thing he wants to be with her. House then pours himself a big drink.
So, we’ve ditched the Vicodin for alcohol. I guess that’s realistic, but there’s absolutely no chance this show is going to give House a chance for a normal life, is there? Ah well, it’s for the best, I suppose. I mean, this show can’t be just about the patients. They’re too boring. I think they could just make this the Chase, Foreman, and House Variety Show and I’d be happy. What do you think? Like it? Hate it? Leave me a comment. I’d rather live in this world with your comment than live without it in mine. Or something like that.
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