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Eastwick
Red Ants and Black Widows
Original Air Date: Nov 4, 2009
Brittany D. – Staff Writer
brittany@thetwocentscorp.com
Crazy things are happening on the show! Ants! I’m still stuck on those ANTS! THE ANTS. Maybe I should actually explain?
Last week, Chad bit the bullet when The Devil’s statue fell on top of him. Roxie has a dream that he’s dead, and Hot Younger Ghost Boyfriend tells her to ‘follow the signs’ which she really has no clue about. Mia tells Roxie later that Chad’s mother doesn’t want her at the funeral on account of Roxie being a black widow and whatnot. As she looks through Chad’s drawer that she finally gave him, she finds a hammer, (What? Who puts a hammer in a drawer?) with a note attached reminding him to give it back to The Devil. She sees it as the first sign and heads over to Darryl’s Hell Mansion where he walks over hot coals (I see what you did there, show) and tells her there is no curse and she should definitely go to the funeral.
Chad’s mother makes a big scene about Roxie being there, and Chad’s grandpa grabs Roxie’s arm and tells her she shouldn’t have come. Roxie tries to get away from him and accidentally pushes him into an empty grave. Needless to say, that doesn’t go over well, but then she sees a woman wearing the shirt that Chad was wearing in his death dream appearance. Turns out, he was writing some 98 Degrees music for Roxie, and she later tells Darryl that she interprets that to mean Chad didn’t want her to be sad and to move on. So, not only does she clean out Chad’s drawer, she also cleans out her dead husband’s.
Kat is trying to juggle her five kids plus Bun, and when one of her kids scraps her knee, Kat heals her with just a single touch. She plays it off as THAT’S WHAT MOMMY’S DO! and you can tell by her daughter’s face that she’s 100% sure that isn’t right, but she accepts it. Cybill sees a commercial of The Devil selling his bottled water and runs out into the street, and I’m not sure what the purpose of doing that was, but she collapses and ends up at the hospital where she asks for Kat to be her nurse so that she can be healed. Kat has a moment where she freaks out, wondering how Cybill knows she’s magical, but she doesn’t get any answers because Cybill just disappears in the middle of their conversation. Rude.
Kat drags Bun to Cybill’s house, and I imagine if Bun didn’t still have amnesia it would have been a reunion laced with ‘Oh not this haggard witch’ and then ‘look who’s talking’, but as it is, Bun still doesn’t remember anything. So, while Cybill says she’ll help, she also tells Kat that she’s going to get a crash course in her powers. She says they’re exactly the same – they even have five kids each and a magnificent garden, but Kat still doesn’t buy it. Cybill has Bun drink something that paralyzes her from the waist down, then stabs her with two…things, and RED ANTS START POURING OUT OF HER NECK, OH MY GOD. I MEAN, THEY ARE LITERALLY POURING OUT OF HER, SOMEONE FAST FORWARD THIS, RIGHT NOW. So, Cybill and Kat start stomping around on ALL OF THESE MILLIONS OF ANTS and suddenly Bun has her memory back, and Kat storms out refusing to believe in her power while Bun and Cybill figure they’re going to have to kill The Devil again. And then Kat makes her other kid suffer in pain or whatever as she’s not having any of this magic B.S.
Meanwhile, while I wish and pray that Sara Rue was my best friend, Joanna tries to tell her that she can move things with her mind, and that her kidnapping opened her up to brighter colors and smellier smells. Sara Rue makes jokes about The Matrix when Joanna tries move things with her mind, but there’s a distraction soon – her spot at the newspaper has been filled by Max who wants the exclusive on Joanna’s kidnapping. Joanna refuses, and she’s hell bent on trying to move something with her mind again, but can’t. Inadvertently, Max offers advice by referencing Groundhog Day: Joanna can only move things with her mind again if she’s emotionally moved to do so. Meaning: She needs to be scared, so she hauls him to a carnival and hitches a ride on a Ferris wheel – something she’s terrified of. So is Max, apparently, and she uses her ability that does work on-demand to tell the ride operator not to lock the door and to stop the ride at the top. When they get there, the door flies open, and using her mind, Joanna gets the door to move again, but then Max freaks and slams it closed.
He tells her that she’s living on the edge since she’s almost died and come back, and that she needs professional therapy. She was trying so hard, she explains, to focus on the positive of her kidnapping, though she never tells him what that is, exactly. (Attention: It’s moving things with her mind.) Joanna ends her night by going to see Sara Rue, who says that she’ll always be there for her best friend.
Best line of the night:
After Roxie knocks Chad’s grandpa into a grave:
“That wasn’t the curse! That was just me accidentally shoving an old guy into a grave!”
Okay, I have one question and one question only: Can someone give me a time line on the age of Kat’s kids? Because I feel like Kat Jr. and Raymond Jr. are the same age. I feel like ALL of them are the same age. One of my awesome Twitter followers, @thesournurse has predicted the way Eastwick works, from novel to book to t.v. show: Darryl comes back every generation and must be killed. What do you think? Does the theory hold water? It’s what I’m going with, but leave me your Two Cents in the comments!
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