The Vampire Diaries – Recap & Review – Crying Wolf

photo: the cw

The Vampire Diaries
Crying Wolf

Original Air Date: Feb 10, 2011

Meg – Staff Writer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s only fitting that this episode of The Vampire Diaries is chock full of hearts. Unfortunately, it turns out that most of those hearts are being ripped still-beating from their occupants. Surprised? C’mon y’all—this is Mystic Falls—were you expecting candy?

They Shoot Emo Wolves, Don’t They?
Fresh on the heels of the wolf pack massacre, Jules and burn the corpses of their fallen comrades. That’s nice. Although I kind of think they would have appreciated it more if you hadn’t, you know, run the heck away when they were being murdered.

Jules and Brady (or as I like to think of them – Full Moon Barbie and Anger Management Ken) hold each other. I think Full Moon Barbie is trying to emote, but she may just have gas. It’s hard to tell with her.

A heretofore unseen wolf cub joins the mopefest. He’s well-suited for a moping, because dammit if this isn’t the most emo stoner werewolf I’ve ever seen (granted, I haven’t seen Twilight. The new wolf, Stevie, looks like he just stumbled off the set of a Fall Out Boy video.

Stevie (really? Stevie?) tells Jules and Brady that he thinks the vamps are trying to break the “sun and moon” curse.

Jules asks Tyler for help finding the moonstone. She and her exhausting lupine cronies explain to baby wolf that if vampires break the curse, they can walk in the sun and it will be a werewolf Armageddon (Does anyone else think that “Werewolf Armageddon” kind of sounds like the best B-movie ever…? Somebody should get Uwe Boll on that). If the wolves break the curse, then they are free from turning into werewolves during the full moon and can turn (or not turn) whenever they want. Stevie says this would be Werewolf Domination. Ok, so armageddon vs. domination? Way to not talk in extremes, there, Stevie boy.

Stevie brings Tyler up to speed about how they need to find the doppelganger. He shows Tyler a picture of Mason’s old friend “Kathy” and asks if he knows her. Tyler freaks out (more than usual) because the person in the picture is (as far as he knows) 100% Elena Gilbert.

Brady and his roid rage march off to find Elena; while Jules and Stevie go after the moonstone (they think Damon has it). The nice boy time that Alaric and Damon are having at the mansion gets interrupted by the wolven onslaught. Stevie stakes Ric in the stomach and Damon in the neck. Have these people never seen an anatomy textbook?

Stevie, who fully admits being into the torture porn genre (did somebody at Vampire Diaries headquarters read my last recap?!), has placed Damon in some sort of harness contraption involving nails and wood and tortury grossness.

It’s a bit reminiscent of the time Damon interrogated/murdered Mason. To his credit, Damon appreciates the irony. Jules talks about buckshot pellets and whatnot and I think she’s trying to be menacing, but it’s actually just kind of porny.

Elijah, who was total awesome sauce this week, shows up. H’s totally nonchalant and pulls out the moonstone, all “looking for this?” A Red Shirt wolf runs for it and gets his still-beating heart ripped from his chest for his troubles. Ditto other wolves. Man, I hope Elijah has some wet naps.

Jules runs away and leaves Stevie and Damon with Elijah. Stevie is terrified, but Elijah breaks his neck with one punch and rips off Damon’s chains. Is it weird that I almost want them to make out?

Elijah informs Damon that he’s saved his life for the third time. He departs, leaving Damon to (yet again) clean bloodstains out of the rug.

Mystic Falls’ Bachelor Society
Damon is still compelling Andie Star, girl reporter, to be his Elena stand-in. Ew. He brain-whammies her into thinking she’s falling in love with him. Double ew.

Damon and Alaric have bro time and bitch about the men in their lives—Damon wants to know how to kill Elijah, while Alaric wants to get rid of meddlesome Uncle John. Alaric asks Damon not to kill Andie—prompting Damon to respond “if I did, who’d report her death?”

At a historical society tea party (prompting Ric to ask Damon “Tell me you’re not going to kill him at the tea party.” Heh), Elijah and Damon officially meet. Which confuses me, because I thought they met several episodes ago.

Uncle/Father John shows up and starts threatening Ric. He says he doesn’t want Ric staying in his house anymore and he wants his anti-vamp magic ring back too. Oh and make me a cheese sandwich. Okay, he may not have asked for that last one.

I sort of love Elijah – he is fantastically menacing. He manhandles (vamphandles) Damon and stakes him in the neck with a pencil. Elijah demands that Damon show him some respect and gives him a hankie for his gaping neck wound. How… nice?

Back at Casa Gilbert, John is being a dick to Jenna. He is furious that she gave Elena permission to go have a weekend away with Stefan at the lake house. John also starts planting seeds of doubt, asking Jenna if Ric ever told her how his first wife died? Did they find a body? Could John be any more of a bitch? (that last question may have been mine…). When Jenna calls Ric to come over later, he tells her he’s busy grading papers—is that like the teacher’s version of “washing my hair”? In his defense, I guess it’s a little hard to explain “I got gut-stabbed by Pete Wentz!”

Bonnie, Luka, and Jeremy
Bonnie hatches a plan to use her sexy whiles and dupe Luka into drinking some sort of witch-roofied frappaccino.

At Caroline’s house, Jeremy, Bonnie, and Caroline lay Luka on the floor and surround him with candles. I’m having weird flashbacks to The Craft.

Caroline, picking up on some serious vibes between Bonnie and Jer-Jer, decides she is totally on the BJ bandwagon (oh god, I need a better name for that coupling, stat). Caroline asks Bonnie if she’d really rather be with “traitor warlock over there” instead of Jeremy.

Bonnie digs into Luka’s mind for answers. She demands to know why Luka and his Hot Doctor Father are working with Elijah. Luka explains that it’s all about (Santa) Klaus. We learn that Klaus is trying to undo the curse without the doppelganger, that he’s forced generations of witches to serve him, and that Luka’s sister is a current hostage. Luka and his dad agreed to help Elijah in exchange for the safe return of his sister.

Bonnie asks Luka how to kill Klaus. He squirms and tries to resist, yelling that if he tells them, that he’ll be killed. Watching Luka writhing on the carpet, Jeremy is totally thinking “wait—if I go out with her and piss her off, is she going to do that to me?” As Jeremy re-thinks his relationship objectives, Luka finally caves and tells Bonnie that Elijah plans to kill Klaus after the sacrifice, when he will be vulnerable.

Everyone is all, “um… After the sacrifice?” Luka says that the sacrifice has to happen and that “Elena has to die.”

As Caroline graciously gives them some space, Bonnie and Jeremy chat. She tells him how it’s weird for her that he’s Elena’s little brother and now he’s “turned into this hot guy who’s really sweet.” Jeremy’s ears perk up, “you think I’m hot?” Jeremy goes in for the kiss and it’s actually legitimately kind of hot.

The Lake House
Stefan and Elena skip out of town for a weekend at her family’s old lake house (no, not that one). They have cutesy relationship time, making out ensues.

Elena wants to talk about their future. Stefan is mature about it—it’s clear that he’s very happy with Elena, but he recognizes the status quo is untenable and that there are some very difficult conversations on the horizon.

Later, Stefan wants to inaugurate her parent’s bedroom. While they make out in the closet, Stefan suddenly realizes that the wall is hollow. That’s kind of insulting, right? I mean, you’re making out with a dude and you’d like to think he’s paying attention to you, not the shoddy closet craftsmanship.

They discover a secret weapons cache with crossbows and stakes and all sorts of other goodies. Is that better or worse than finding your parents’ closet stash of Christmas presents?

Unbeknownst to our lovers, Brady and Tyler are en route. Brady asks Tyler if he’s “up to this.” Somehow Tyler manages to look about 12 years old.

When Stefan goes to get firewood, Brady shoots him with his wooden pellet gun. Jerk. He leaves Tyler with the gun and a stake to guard Stefan, while he goes to find Elena. Stefan pleads with Tyler to understand that he doesn’t want to break the curse because Elena would have to die. Poor Tyler – it’s as if every other scene he unravels some new horrible layer of truth.

Inside the house, Brady surprises Elena. She stabs/stakes him in the gut. Atta girl—good reflexes! (although remind me never to hug her). Brady yells that he can smell her. Gross. Elena takes off her shirt. No, really. Then she realizes she’s not a character in “Stripper Outlaws in the Woods 2” and goes to hide.

Stefan rips out Brady’s heart (bye, Brady! Hopefully Jules will be joining you soon!). Tyler awkwardly ambles over to Elena and tells her he didn’t know about the sacrifice and that he just doesn’t want to be a werewolf anymore. As Elena hugs him, Stefan is thinking “uh… I just ripped out a guy’s heart. No hug for that?”

Later, Bonnie has filled everyone in on her discovery that Elijah is not going to save Elena. Stefan and Elena talk about it and Elena reveals that she knew she wouldn’t be spared and that she made a deal so that her friends and loved ones would be protected.

Stefan is livid, asking “how could you stand out there earlier talking about our future when you don’t expect to have one?” It’s a really great scene because Elena asks why it’s okay for him to die for her, but not for her to protect him? And he actually has an answer—he’s been alive for 162 years, he’s already lived. He tells her what she’s doing is going to get her killed and that “it’s not heroic. It’s tragic.” Well said.

Tyler
Matt is still ignoring Caroline, angry that she lied to him last week. In her defense, what was she supposed to say? I was being tortured by werewolves?

At the end of the episode, Tyler goes to the Mystic Grill to talk to Matt. The song playing as he enters is so relationshippy, I half expect them to make out. Tyler tells Matt that he’s been going through a rough patch (understatement much?) and that Caroline has been helping him. He confesses that he fell for her and says “I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t.—she’s pretty incredible.” Tyler tells Matt that Caroline loves him and needs him and that he better be good to her. My inner over-reactive feminist gets in a tizzy because it’s like Tyler is gifting Caroline to Matt; however, my inner squealy fangirl overrules my inner feminist and says “awwwww.”

Tyler lurks outside Caroline’s house. He’s a good lurker. When she goes to bed, he gets into the car with Full Moon Barbie. Tyler tells Jules that if he’s going to go away with her (no!) they have to agree on total honesty. “No more lies” lies Jules. They drive away, as I throw things at my TV. Don’t leave with Full Moon Barbie! Worst road trip ever! Come back!

This was a good episode. Stevie rehashing everything we already know about the curse and the doppelganger was a bit boring, but everything else in this episode moved pretty well. I love that Stefan and Elena are finally starting to get past the sparkly “love! puppies! kittens!” sparkly infatuation phase to talk about some really difficult things. I was also really glad to see Stefan call Elena on her martyrdom complex. What did you think of the episode? Leave some comments and let me know your two cents!