90210 – Recap & Review – They’re Playing Her Song

photo: cw

90210
They’re Playing Her Song

Original Air Date: Nov 15, 2010

Meg – Sr. Reviewer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

There must be something in the water, because pretty much everyone in West Bev is having, wanting, or freaking out about sex. Everyone, that is, except poor Navid. He’s dealing with some seriously heavy stuff (of the non-petting variety) and Adrianna is too distracted by being a celebrity and giving the world pop tunes and beauty tips (“10 ways to paint your eyes shut!”) to realize. Meanwhile, Annie strips (with mixed results), Teddy slips, and Ryan and Debbie totally do it.

Read on for the full recap and review – make sure to leave your two cents!

Ryan and Debbie
Poor Ryan’s having a tough time over in Singledadville. Luckily, Debbie has stepped in to help him interview nannies. Unluckily for my eyesight, she seems to be doing this while wearing a disco ball. When the nanny/actress Ryan hires bails on him to go audition for CSI: Miami, he goes running to Debbie. She’s more than happy to make him dinner and commiserate over how they feel abandoned. After dinner, Ryan helps Debbie do dishes (not Dallas). Since handsoap is the true aphrodisiac (just ask Mr. Clean), they start making out. One thing leads to another, which… leads to the couch, apparently. Post-coitus, because they are ridiculous, they immediately feel the need to verbally deconstruct everything. What—no cuddle time?

Teddy
Still coming to terms with his sexuality, Teddy decides to swing by a rainbow bar and see how the other side lives. As he lingers outside the bar, the bouncer (who I don’t blame for not checking ID, since Teddy looks like a frickin’ 40-year old) asks Teddy if he’s coming in. Teddy’s too freaked out to clarify that, no, he’s actually coming out…

After a flurry of shots, Teddy realizes that he forgot his wallet (which he would have noticed earlier if the bouncer had ID’d him. SIGH). Afraid to ask one of his friends for help, he calls Ian. Can we just take a moment to point out how amazingly unselfish and kind this guy is? After hooking up with him, Teddy is a complete prat, punches him out, hurls insults at him, and STILL Ian comes through for him without being jerky or sanctimonious. Can we have more Ian, please?

Ian pays his tab and drives Teddy home. During the ride, Teddy fesses up that he lied to everyone and said he was kicked out of boarding school for having girls in his room. The truth is that he developed feelings for his roommate and transferred to get away from it. Teddy explains that he thought if he ignored it, it would go away. Ian is all, “yeah… it doesn’t really work like that.”

Adrianna and Navid (and Silver!)
Adrianna’s song (that she filched from the not-so-dearly departed Javier) is the new #1 single in the US (Erm, I think Rhianna might have something to say about that). Loving her newfound celebrity, Ade is too distracted by magazine spreads and sassy publicists and fancy producers that she is completely oblivious to the fact that poor Navid’s life is falling apart all around him..

Navid is realizing that telling his guidance counselor that his dad’s a child pornographer may not have been the best move. Suddenly, Mr. Shirazi is under investigation and furious with Navid. Even though he apologizes to his dad for outing him (after rightly pointing out that his dad was totally breaking the law), Mr. Shirazi kicks Navid out and flees to Iran. Uh, Mr. Shirazi? I’m not so sure that the fundamentalist regime back home is going to really dig your line of work…

Navid and Silver have been uber-awkward around each other following their almost-kiss last episode. However, when he finds himself utterly alone, Navid turns up on her doorstep. I think he goes to her because he knows that it doesn’t matter if they’re friends or love interests or whatever—she’s there for him and right now he needs her (it probably also helps that her monstrously terrible haircut leaves her ears wide open for listening).

Annie and Charlie
Annie is still insecure about being a high school gal dating a, like, totally sophisticated college guy. She’s even more insecure when she finally visits his implausibly clean house and meets his roomies, including his ex, Julia. Of course, Julia is sassy and pretty and has some threateningly comfortable chemistry with Charlie.

Naomi, eternal dispenser of terrible advice, tells Annie to have sex with Charlie so she doesn’t get dumped. There is so much wrong with this logic, I don’t even know where to start. Naomi even supplies her with edible underwear and pinwheel pasties. Honey, he’s a college guy. I’m pretty sure all you have to do is say, “hi” and he’ll still want to sleep with you.

The next time Annie’s over at Charlie’s pad, she excuses herself to go get naked while he rambles on about vinyl. Annie giggles at herself in the mirror, tussles her hair, opens the door and… screams because she’s standing in her underwear in front of Charlie’s roommates. I’ll give her credit for having a pretty fabulous “I can’t believe I just did that” face. I think we all know that face.

Annie and Charlie have a (fully-clothed) heart-to-heart. Charlie finally tells her that his weird back scar is from his uncle who was a mean drunk and used to beat him. I feel like there’s more to that story. Does anyone else think Charlie’s got a secret?

What did you think of tonight’s episode? I was surprised, but I kind of liked the Debbie-Ryan pairing. Although, to be fair, compared to Jen, he could have hooked up with a misfit platypus and I would have been happy. That’s all the 90210 for us until after Thanksgiving—which begs the question, what in West Bev are you most thankful for?