Who Are You, Really?
Original Air Date: Jun 16, 2013
Patricia Morris Buckley — Sr. Staff Writer
Has anyone in Bon Temps ever even heard of a shower? Everyone looks like hell in this episode.
Is seems to be a True Blood rule that everyone must walk around with blood crusted on faces, hands and clothes as if it were the latest fashion. I can’t believe I was relieved to see Bill back in his own home, washed up. And that’s something if you’re relieved to see this season’s big bad.
OK, I can understand the blood in the first half. The season opens immediately after last season’s closer. Shall we do a quick catch-up? OK, you talked me into it. Bill drank Lilith’s blood, exploded, then rose from a pool of blood naked as a jaybird and encased in the mandatory blood frosting. It’s obvious that he’s no longer Bill, so naturally everyone starts calling him Bilith.
As Bilith is really, really mad, everyone makes a mad scramble for the nearest exit door. Jason is in full Rambo mode, giggling like a schoolgirl every time he blasts a vamp into a blood splatter. (Yay, more blood!) Sam rescues Luna and her puppy daughter Emma (who has definitely aged a year although no time has passed on the series) after Luna skin walked as Steve Newlin on national TV. Luna dies in a gurgle of blood. The action is moving so fast we barely have time to be sad. Sam is charged with taking care of the pup.
Nora, Tara, Jessica and Pam all get out, but we quickly learn that Eric has kept his sister a secret from Pam — for 100 years! That’s not going to be a pretty family reunion. The Authority building collapses in a firey explosion – supposedly being destroyed by Bilith. Good riddance to that entire — yawn — storyline.
Everyone stops a beach to get it together. I have to say Pam on a beach is one of the more ridiculous things I’ve ever seen, right up there with the Walmart sweat suit from last year. “Fish piss and sand in your cooch,” she complained. She even let Tara comfort her and they seem to become a real couple (ahh…). But peace is short lived because Nora heard Jason talk about Warlow, the vampire that killed Jason and Sookie’s parents Seems that Warlow is mentioned in the vampire bible as one of the first vamps, a progeny of Lilith. That can’t be good.
Jessica is feeling abandoned by Bill and Jason (who is full anti-vamp mode), but Sookie says that she’ll take care of her. The first thing they do is go back to Bill’s home because Jessica feels Bill calling her – so much that her heart is being pulled out of her chest. Yicky. It’s like a horror film where the girl hears something in a dark room and—instead of being smart and getting out of the house — walks into the room. And yes, Bill is there, the only one cleaned up.
I got to admit I was shocked that Sookie staked him, her first love. Yikes! But Bilith doesn’t explode into a pile of bloody mush. He pulls out the stake and is just fine. Now you know where the title came from. Even Bilith doesn’t understand what he is now. Jessica stand up for him and demands that everyone (Eric and Nora have joined the staking party) leave.
Later that night she and Bill had a heart to heart and he shows more of what he can do. She almost spills a True Blood and he stops it mid air – with just his mind. What a cool parlor trick. But even he didn’t know he could do that. Double, no triple scary. He asks her to be his conscious so that he doesn’t let his power destroy him. Good luck with that Jessica.
We get to visit the werewolves and I think, now we’re in for fun. But what we get is more blood. Did you watch as our man Alcide had to eat the former pack master? Kind of killed my appetite for my ham sandwich. Alcide also gets naked girls offering themselves to him and ends up with a bit of harem. At least we get to see him naked, which may be the highlight of the night. Naked Alcide is usually the highlight of the night.
Jason gets himself in a pack of trouble. When Sookie seems to pick Jessica over him at the beach, he wanders off and tries to hitchhike a ride. How much you want to bet he gets picked up by the wrong person? Nah, they don’t make currency low enough for that bet. At first he’s wary, but Jason loves to talk about himself and just as he’s comfortable babbling on, he realizes he may be talking to Warlow. He shoots the guy, who evaporates and leaves Jason without someone driving the car. Watch out for that tree!
My favorite storyline of the night had to be Andy, whose fairy squeeze birthed him four babies that he has to raise. He turns to his cousin Terry and Arlene, who teach him to change a diaper. He’s really scared and Arlene gives him a pep talk that’s funny and sweet. When he wakes up the next morning and they babies are already toddlers, we realize his job might not be that difficult after all. Just creepy.
Meanwhile Gov. Truman Burrell has stopped just shy of declaring war on vamps as they are killing so many voters after the bombings of the True Blood factories. He imposes a curfew so they don’t go out at night and forbids them to own businesses (poor Pam, just as she becomes owner of Fangtasia it gets taken away). Then he does a secret deal with the maker of True Blood by giving her a bottling factory free to start making more True Blood. His motives are murky, at best.
My second favorite scene of the night was Eric giving Sookie her house back. He says he’ll always remember of her as the girl in white when she first visited Fangtasia. She wants to be that girl again and so revokes his invitation into HER house. Nora, waiting outside, figures out that he loves Sookie, but he warns her not to get involved.
The episode ended – of course – more blood as three versions of blooded-coated Lilith call Bilith into his office and enter him. WTF? What is he now, really?
I thought Stephen Moyer did a pretty good job with his directing debut. This episode was packed full of storylines to get the season revving. But I’m hoping – really hoping – that this season is better than last or it will be my last as a Trubie. I stuck with the books until the end and would love to do so with the series, but it’s really up to them at this point.
Did you like where the storylines were going? What do you think is going on with Bilith? Were you touched by Sookie and Eric’s last scene? Give us your TwoCents…