Original Air Date: May 26, 2013
Ryan O – Staff Writer
This is Lindsay’s second episode. We pick up his story at the at the ostrich farm.
We follow Linsdays’s journey to find herself. Hers is probably the saddest story of all of the Bluths. After finding out she was adopted, Lindsay, someone who already wasn’t that in touch with herself, becomes completely unmoored.
Lindsay wakes up on the ostrich farm as Marky Bark’s mother yells at her. Marky is wearing a weird costume. We quickly find out why: he tried to scare off the people on the other side of the ridge by pretending to be a shaman. The people on the other side of the ridge? George and Oscar and their sweat lodge colony.
Soon, Lindsay hears she’s missed Lucille’s trial and Lucille is headed to prison, which means the penthouse is available. So, she brings Marky and Cindy (the ostrich) to the penthouse. Marky asks what that smell is. The smell of not-urine. Cindy quickly claims the master bedroom (but that sounded an awful lot like a human squawk of surprise, didn’t it?)
A year later and the penthouse is a wreck. The not-urine smell is gone. Lindsay comes home from begging (she has to announce that it’s her because of Marky’s face-blindness). He’s been working on a “bomb” that will spray ink and glitter all over conservative Congressional candidate Herbert Love.
Oh, by the way, it turns out Lindsay wasn’t out begging. She’d gone across the hall to Lucille 2’s and was trying on nice clothes. Lindsay made her a banner (on the back of the “BUSTER, YOU’RE KILLING ME!” banner) that reads, “I’m for Lucille 2 4 Congres.” (Yes, just the one “s.”)
Lucille gives her an old wig, “I used to wear when I was with the Captain and I was–” “Tenille?” “Yes and not make eye contact.” Anyway, Lucille asks Lindsay to work for her campaign but Lindsay says she and Marky are going to enact change Marky’s way.
On the way back in, she picks up an envelope with a check. It’s for $50,000 and the memo line reads “FROM: Gange 4: Face Lift.” This drives Lindsay to visit her mother in prison. Lucille is playing tennis. The two talk. Lindsay is upset about the check for Maeby (especially after Lucille paid for a nose job when Lindsay thought she was 12). Lindsay says she’s nothing like her mother. Lucille says Lindsay is more like her than she cares to admit.
Lindsay and Marky get to the hotel where the Herbet Love event is taking place. Lindsay is wearing the red wig as a disguise. Marky is going to hide in the podium and something something Herbert love will get sprayed with blue paint. Lindsay mills around in the party beforehand and runs into George. She gives the check to George since Marky said they didn’t need. Next, she runs into Maeby, who is impressed that her mother is going to make a statement. Then, she runs into Herbert Love but doesn’t realize it. She didn’t recognize Love because Marky had a photo of Nat King Cole instead of Hebert Love. (He can see races but not faces.)
Lindsay enjoys Love flirting with her, loses track of time, and BLAMMO! The bomb goes off and she hadn’t let Marky out of the podium. He’s completely blue. As she’s leaving, Love gives his card and Maeby can’t believe she’s whoring herself out to Love.
Lindsay goes back to the penthouse but she’s been evicted and leaves. She goes to the model home to see and move in with Maeby. Maeby tells her she should call Love to help get Marky out of jail. Maeby says she’ll even make the call for her.
This leads to Lindsay having sex with Love. Love gives her a necklace from “Tiffani’s.” (The famous jewelry store is, of course, “Tiffany’s.” Love got the necklace at the discount jewelry store next to the methadone clinic “Mistress
Lindsay visits Marky in jail. Marky is scared. He hugs Lindsay, “NO TOUCHING!”
On her way to dinner, Lindsay runs into Michael. There’s a complicated exchange of favors that includes getting Love against the wall. Love does indeed end up against the wall.
Later, Lindsay and Michael end up at the Balboa Club, both using the family’s membership. After a very awkward exchange, Michael tells his date, Rebel Alley that he doesn’t Lindsay. Rebel isn’t pleased to be eating with Herbert Love. Dinner ends after Herbert insults Ron Howard. Herbert gets up and declares that the next day he’s going to take his family to see “the American Ocean.”
Later, at Cinco de Quatro, Lindsay runs into Marky, who is going to plant another bomb, except this is a real bomb. She runs into her mom and they talk and Lindsay realizes she is, adopted or not, a real Bluth. Then, she finds Love, who gives her a severance package. She finds Lucille 2 and now wants to work for her. Too late, Sally Sitwell is working for her. Sally has photos of Lindsay with Love and is going to use them to take down Love’s campaign. Lindsay is rightfully mortified and decides to get out in front of things. She announces she’s Love’s “key advisor.” The crowd likes her. At this point, unrelatedly, guys (who appear to be Mexicans) start to go nuts on the Cinco fest, smashing and breaking stuff. Lindsay mumbles into the mic that those people shouldn’t be here. The crowd loves it. Then, she says maybe there should be a wall. The crowd loves this. Soon, Lindsay has the crowd chanting, “Put Up That Wall!” And Lindsay knows who she is now.
Next on Arrested Development: Herbert Love is in a coma and Lindsay is going to run in his place.
This was the longest episode at 37 minutes. There were a number of places where things could’ve been tightened up. The double-date with Michael and Rebel seemed to go on a bit long, among others. That said, there are a lot of great lines. Terry Crews does a great job as Herman Cain-spoofing Herbert Love. And, hey, ostrich.
What did you think? Are you enjoying the fourth season? Let’s hear your TwoCents!