Original Air Date: May 26, 2013
Ryan O – Staff Writer
This is George Sr.’s second episode. We pick up his story at the Herbert Love campaign event.
The episode follows the build the wall/don’t build the wall story. To be fair, it’s not my favorite plot of the season. We also get to watch the continued emasculation/feminization of the formerly manly elder Bluth.
George Sr. is at the Herbert Love event, trying to get him to support the construction of the wall between the US and Mexico. Love wants a donation in exchange for this support but George is plumb out of cash at the moment.
We cut to Oscar pretending to be George while with Lucille, like WITH Lucille. The two decide to make GOB president of the company.
George is pitching his sweat lodge to someone but it’s not going well. Also, the pitchee turns out to be a waiter. Then, he runs into Lindsay. He asks her for money. Lindsay does have the check that she thinks is from Lucille for Maeby’s nose job. She, reluctantly, gives that to George along with a speech about what a horrible person Lucille is. George just wants the check. George promises to deposit the check into a trust fund for Maeby that she can’t touch until she’s 21. Maeby is, of course, 23 at this point. George gives the check to Love.
The next day, George is driving his RV south. As an indicator of the loss of his manhood, George is wearing Michael’s wife’s maternity shirt that he wore when he was hiding in the attic. He drives into his sweat lodge property, past some surveyors. Long story short, the property is on the Mexico side of the border and is not where the wall would be built, making the property worthless to the US government and thus worthless to the Bluths. He starts to cry and goes to hug the surveyors but they shout “NO HUGGING!”
We see a crayon-drawn map of the southwest (the one with Mexico colored blue and the Pacific colored green, huh, wonder who made things those colors?). George calls Barry Zuckerkorn, who didn’t read the deal at all since it was in Spanish. (Barry is in the hardware store buying a stepladder. You’ll see that again later in the series.)
GOB drives up in the limo. George doesn’t want GOB calling him father because he doesn’t want the clients to think his son grew up to be a limo driver. But, GOB isn’t a limo driver. He’s a “gentleman honey farmer.” He has his bees in the back. George opens the door to the limo where the bees are. Naturally, the bees get out. It causes much panic. During the panic, Oscar confronts George. He’s tired of going into the sweat lodge and pretending to be George. George tells him the land is in the wrong spot. “Well, I was going off of Buster’s map!” Yes, Buster made the map. (He got a C+ on it.)
George goes north to see Lucille. He realizes that Oscar saw her first. George has a lot of problems: Oscar is sleeping with Lucille, his property is worthless, and his sweat lodge colony had just collapsed.
George stops to see his doctor, played by John “Roger Sterling” Slattery, about his potency. Dr. Sterling says, “You know, the Hopi Indians say if you touch this spot, you can stimulate sexual feeling.” “That’s my penis.” The doctor runs through a list of possible supernatural causes for his condition when George remembers seeing the shaman who told him, “The strong will become the weak. The weak will become the strong.” The doctor sends him to get an MRI “and ride it to climax.” Oh dear. He gets his prescription for dirty magazines filled at the same place GOB gets his prescription for forget-me-nows. In fact, we saw George going into the place in the background when GOB was coming out in an earlier episode.
When he gets to the MRI place, it turns out Michael is working there (well, Michael is working in that office, “Orange County Imagine,” different than “Orange County Imaging.”) After they talk for a while, George agrees to sign over his rights for the movie Michael wants to make in exchange for Michael persuading Love to go against building the wall. George starts to cry about losing his favorite hat, which was run over by a bunch of kids.
George goes to visit Lucille. Lucille’s prison number, by the way, is 07734, which is a joke but might not translate well in this font. Anyway, turn it around in your mind a bit. He tells Lucille about the land being the wrong location. She says they have to get some of the wall built to trigger the government payment. She then starts to sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” a la Marilyn Monroe. It’s disturbing. Also, he needs to get GOB a job. He calls Michael about it. George says GOB is on the way to Sudden Valley.
Michael sees GOB, who is driving the limo, which has a massive cross sticking out of it. They talk a bit. Michael brags about his great movie producing career. GOB talks about how he met someone, someone famous he can’t talk about. Likewise, Michael also met someone, someone he can’t talk about. Of course, Michael doesn’t actually know her name. We do learn from Ron Howard that Rebel Alley, like Bryce Dallas Howard and Paige Carlyle Howard, she was named for where she was conceived.
GOB heads into one of the model houses. Michael insists they’re empty but GOB does find a cabinet of Mike’s Hard Lemonade leftover from when John Beard caught Tobias in “To Catch a Local Predator.” They hang out and drink hard lemonade.
George is filming himself in the RV as he and Buster drive along the wall. George touts how great the wall is. Buster is getting sick and he gets out. It turns out George has put up some Bluth signs on an industrial-sized tank (the sign on the tank reads “Hal & Burton’s Frozen Goat Cream Hazardous Materials Division”) and drove around and around the tank. Pretty smart, actually.
George shows up at Cinco de Cuatro. He runs into Michael, who is going to pay Lucille 2 back. Michael reassures George that he got Love to go against the wall. George runs into Lucille 2. She’s mad about a company she owns supporting Herbert Love.
George then meets Dr. Sterling. The doctor tells him he has almost no testosterone. On the other hand, he has as much estrogen as an adult woman.
As he’s leaving, the blowback against Cinco de Cuatro has started and a small riot has broken out. This leads to people chanting, “Put up this wall!” (Republicans chanting about putting up a wall are funny when contrasted against Ronald Reagan talking about tearing down a wall.) George finds a redheaded wig and puts it on so he can escape.
Next on Arrested Development: a detective comes to the condo looking for George, who answers the door in full drag. “I don’t allow men in my apartment without my husband.”
I love the reveal that Buster drew the map, which is a call back that goes all the way back to the pilot when we learn that Buster studied cartography (and, when actually pressed to read a map when they were fleeing the SEC, declared that the blue area is obviously land).
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