Original air date: Apr 10, 2013
FK – Sr. Editor
I usually take this introduction paragraph and write something quirky or get giddy about something great that happened, like Russ coming back. But today I’m still shaking over last night’s episode. I’ve never missed an episode of SouthLAnd. I’ve also watched many cop/fire dramas on TV, like ER, Third Watch, NYPD Blue, Blue Bloods, Rescue Me … What does this have to do with anything? Given all of the shows I’ve watched, last night’s SouthLAnd may have been the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, nightmare-inducing hour of television I’ve ever watched. And that includes watching Tommy go to the 9/11 hell in his nightmares in Rescue Me.
“Cops are supposed to hold the line between chaos and civilized society. Every now and then, chaos gets the upper hand.”
Opening scene: Cooper and Lucero come upon a guy with a crowbar in an empty garage. He’s cursing and Lucero looks at the scene and is knocked out.
Lucero makes his usual anti-gay remarks and Cooper asks him to grab a beer…at a gay bar…and he doesn’t figure it out until Cooper points it out to him. And Cooper finally tells him. “I’m gay, moron” might have been the best thing Cooper has ever said. Cooper tells him to stop “joking” about gay people and Lucero is clearly uncomfortable. Oh, there is some horrific foreshadowing coming but Lucero was funny asking Cooper if his butt looked fat in his jeans. In the end, their excursion was good bonding although their play fighting wasn’t so much a joke as it seemed actual anger between the two, especially when it ended with Lucero calling Cooper a horrible name and leaves. Russ and Lydia meet again, this time with Christopher in tow. Russ apologizes for what he did and Lydia says she’s not mad, she can’t be. The day after their bonding session, Cooper and Lucero aren’t talking but report to suspicious activity at a vacant building. They get to the site of the opening scene and there is a shot of Lucero’s open door on the car. Foreshadow, much? The two finally talk in order to take down the guy. As Cooper inspects the guy, Lucero is knocked out by his partner, who has taken Lucero’s rifle out of the car. The two guys go crazy and attack the two, taking their guns and belts. FADE TO BLACK.
This is where my play by play ends, since I can’t bring myself to watch it again. But here’s the best recap I can do…
The two are kidnapped by the crazy men, in only their t-shirt, underwear and socks. They are also handcuffed together. Lucero tries to figure out where they are but in all honestly, he has zero clue. The kidnappers aren’t the smartest and are schizophrenic, believing the cops are being tracked by chips in their body. This brings up the first scene that made my stomach turn, when one of the guys raped Lucero with a blowtorch trying to find the chip. Cooper tries to keep his wits about him and calm Lucero down but he can’t. Completely justifiable, since he’s been on the job much longer, Cooper tries to be reasonable and calm (as much as one can) while Lucero can’t. Cooper tries to get to a phone that’s nearby but Lucero ruins it and is taken away into a locked room and tortured. He comes back so badly beaten, I don’t want to know what happened in there. As the two man continue to figure out what to do, Lucero prays and they shoot him point blank in the head as Cooper watches in silent horror. Eventually, the two men force Cooper to dig a grave for Lucero’s body and make him drag his partner’s body and dump it in. They tell him to get in it and he refuses. They hit him in the back with a shovel and he falls in. A shot is fired but eventually Cooper’s eyes open and he makes his way to a small convenience store. It’s closed and a handcuffed bloody man doesn’t entice the woman to open it, despite him screaming “I’m a cop! I’m a cop!” He falls to the ground.
The other cops are looking for the pair, especially Lydia, Ruben and Dewey with his rookie. Sherman would have started sooner, but he was too busy trying to cover his tracks as Sammy tracked down Strokeface. Elena’s brother needed some help and since Sherman owes him one, he has to cover for him. Unfortunately, as they are talking, the call comes in that it’s Cooper who is missing. Without getting their stories together, this could mean the end for Sherman’s cover-up. In a D-story to this entire plot, Teach has gone crazy and is pretty much stalking Sherman…because he doesn’t have enough going on.
– This may have been one of the most horrific hours of television I’ve ever watched.
– Michael Cudlitz and Anthony Ruivivar deserve Oscars or Golden Globes or whatever award it is they need to get. AMAZING performances.
– Lydia obviously wants to be with Russ. Just jump in already.
– Sherman needs to fess up before it comes back to haunt him. Either Elena’s family will kill him or they’ll tell Strokeface and he’ll kill him. Or they’ll tell Sammy and he’ll kill Sherman. Either way, Sherman is going down.
– Cooper was just getting to a good place in his life. No more pills, his father is dead and he was going to have a baby with Lori. This is going to ruin him.
– I can’t put enough emphasis on the fact that although this episode was horrific, it was possibly also one of the best hours of television I’ve witnessed. How SouthLAnd isn’t a major contender with full season orders every year is beyond me.
Those are my TwoCents. What are yours? Leave your TwoCents below and feel free to chat with me at Twitter at @FarrahWritesTV.