The Clash at the Stash
Original Air Date: Feb 14, 2013
Jeff L – Señor Staff Writer
We open on a discussion among the Comic Book Men about the fattest Star Wars character Porkins and if he’s got his own action figure or not. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the guys at the Stash and this seems like a fine welcome back – reminding everyone that the guys aren’t pulling any punches and if it’s funny it’s funny. Nobody is off-limits.
Especially not off-limits is Ming who openly admires a handsome customer who is a third grade teacher and is selling a Bowen Juggernaut statue (see Items Sold below). The guys give him a hard time, but Ming says he wishes some of his teachers were like him. He tries to explain he means “young and hip” and not your typical “old lady” teacher, but the guys point out that it’s the ‘lady’ part that’s the operative word. Poor Ming 1.0.
Next into the store is Nate Quarry who offers the store his book ‘Zombie Cagefighter’ to sell in the store. Walt agrees to carry the book if Nate can help him arrange a special cage match between two costumed fighters – kind of Marvel Vs. Capcom, but in real life. Nate agrees to help and they invite Kevin Smith, head Comic Book honcho, to come watch the fight. More on that later.
Next through the door is a customer selling Superman and Wonder Woman Underoos. After the customer leaves, Walt informs the guys that he always wanted, but never had any Underoos as a kid. He and Ming decide to try them on with Walt only agreeing if he gets the Superman set. Walt goes in the back room and Ming goes into the bathroom and both agree to come out wearing the Underoos on the count of three. As soon as Ming steps out of the bathroom in his Wonder Woman Underoos, he realizes that Walt is still fully clothes. Walt tells him he didn’t mean he was JUST going to wear the Underoos. He was going wear them under his clothes – which he has. Poor Ming 2.0.
Finally a Green Lantern collector like myself arrives at the store to check out their copy of Green Lantern/Green Arrow #76. I had a copy autographed by Neal Adams that I sold a few years ago and have been regretting ever since. The store has the book marked for $425. The customer offers $250 but they can’t reach a settlement so Walt offers to sell the guy the trade paperback that contains the stories starting with issue 76. $30. Sold.
Later, at the cagefight, Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes join the guys to watch the costumed “heroes” battle. Surprisingly, however, Nate Quarry calls out two fighters dressed as Jay and Silent Bob. Kevin and Jay decide to be corner men for their fighters and after some banter the two costumed fighters get down to business. It’s over pretty quick though with “Jay” winning the match. The real Kevin reveals that’s exactly how it would go down in real life if he and Jason ever battled.
This episode had everything: Kevin and Jason Mewes cameos, a cage fight, guys running around in Underoos, The quintessential Green Lantern book, etc. I’m glad to see the guys are back to doing the kind of ball-busting humor that made the first season so great. The “roast” style of humor was decidedly lacking in the first half of season two. How the producers could have a resource like Bryan Johnson on hand and not just let him go off is a mystery to me. He’s the real-life basis for the Randal Graves character in Clerks so to not let him shine, as witnessed in the first half of season two is really burning the lamp under the bushel basket if you ask me. The only down-side to this episode was that Mike didn’t have much to do here. I’m grading this issue 9.8 Near Mint.
Items sold at the Stash
Bowen Juggernaut Statue. Sculpted by Randy Bowen and the Shiflett Brothers. Original retail price was $200. Customer wants $350. Walt offers $225 but after a brief negotiation they settle on $274. Sold.
Superman and Wonder Woman Underoos. customer wants $150. Walt offers $50. They settle on $75. Sold.