Hats and Bats
Original air date: Feb 13, 2013
FK – Sr. Editor
If you didn’t get the chance to catch up on SouthLAnd with our “Walk Down SouthLAnd Memory Lane,” take a look at that before reading the review of tonight’s season five premiere. We’ll find out if Sammy and Sherman trust each other again, if Lydia kept the baby, how Cooper is dealing post-Tang, if Dewey is still sober and meet some new cops, like Cooper’s new trainee and finally find out what kind of impact One Tree Hill alum Chad Michael Murray has on our group of LA’s finest.
“We hold cops to a higher standard because we give them a gun and a badge. Only problem with that, is they’re recruited from the human race.”
Opening scene: Sherman and Chad Michael Murray (his character’s name will be revealed in the review) are in a parking lot, in what seems to be an after party of sorts with scantily clad women. A topless girl is hanging on CMM and takes out his gun from his vest holster and starts shooting in the air.
It’s early in the morning when a baby is crying. We see Lydia, who is tired and complaining to her mother, who is clearly taking care of the baby, about lack of breast milk. Cooper is living with what appears to be a boyfriend and says they’ve been together (“or is this just banging?”) for a few years. His boyfriend mentions moving in together and maybe one day wanting to have kids and Cooper doesn’t seem thrilled. Sherman gets a haircut, while Sammy shaves. We still don’t know how much time has passed, but it’s safe to assume it’s been about a year, considering the age of Lydia’s baby. Sammy and Tammi are co-parenting and it seems like she’s sort of normal, except for being broke despite getting child support and trying to bait Sammy to hit her while recording him on her cell phone, accusing him of drinking. So, I guess she’s still crazy. Lydia is back on the force with the last partner she had (Ruben) but has a lactation incident on the site of the first case of the day. She obviously is not enjoying being a mother when she goes on a rant about “I don’t understand why women do this.”
Dewey is still himself during the morning briefing, where the topic is fatal shootings of unarmed suspects. Cooper has a new rookie named Steele. He’s an ex-military who is “slow” as Cooper says. Where are Sherman and Sammy? They’re at a ceremony honoring Sherman (and a mention in passing about Ferguson, although no LDP for us, boo…). We finally get to meet Chad Michael Murray, in all his pornstache glory, playing Officer Mendoza, who tells Sherman they’re throwing a party in his honor later that night. Cooper and Steele (that sounds like a bad 80s band) get called to a house where a man is wielding a knife. When they get there, they see a fight and someone falls off a balcony. Steele freaks out as Cooper goes up to the house and they find out the people were shooting a movie. Steele goes on a rant and Cooper backs him down.
Sammy rants to Sherman about his custody battle while Sherman reminds him to look at the road (safe to assume something will come out of that). Lydia pumps in the car and changes and says she understands why women shake their babies. Woah! We learn her baby’s name is Christopher and she doesn’t take pictures of him on her cell phone. Sammy and Sherman are called to a gay bath house where everything is covered in blood and Sherman points out to Sammy where they are and tells Sammy not to touch anything. Not sure why that was in there, but, everything has a point in this show at one point or another.
Off on their lunch break, Cooper and Steele share a moment. Steele is already breaking rules and pissing Cooper off. He’s only a cop because of the money. Post-military he couldn’t get a job that would allow him to support his family but being a cop pays well. Lydia and Ruben visit their victim (Armando) in the hospital. He’s a male who was raped and beaten up but refuses to admit he was raped. There is video footage and they need his consent to do a rape kit and advise him to get tested. Someone finds his phone and Lydia and Ruben go to meet the person who has it. Mendoza, Sammy and Sherman are called to the home of two elderly sisters. One was killed during a robbery while the other was out. While Sammy consoled the sister, Sherman answered a phone call from his own sister. Sammy was not happy.
When Lydia and Ruben go to meet the phone guy, he runs. Lydia can’t keep up at all, but she tries as hard as she can and finally just stops. Sammy and Sherman are in the middle of arresting some guys when Sammy confronts Sherman about answering his phone during the robbery case. One of the guys says he has to pee and when Sherman goes to get a pen, he comes back to see Sammy take his cuffs off and let him pee. These two are a mess. Cooper and Steele get flagged down by a woman frantically saying she heard shots at a shop down the street. Winds up someone pawned a bullet-proof vest and the owner wanted someone to test it out. Steele asks for permission to mess with them and Cooper allows it. Back in the car, Sammy is angry after Tammi wants to take Nate on his weekend. Sherman tests him by screaming “baby carriage!” and follows it up with questioning Sammy if Nate is even his. It shuts Sammy up, but not after a brief argument.
After arresting the man who raped Armando, Lydia and Ruben get the surveillance video and it shows everything. As Ruben asks him again to do the rape kit, his girlfriend walks in and he covers it by saying the same guy who robbed him raped some girl in the neighborhood. Sammy and Sherman come upon a shooting and they recognize most of the guys but a few are unfamiliar. They run one down and it winds up being an undercover cop. Cooper and Steele get called to what can only be described as a riot, with Dewey in charge. Back at the hospital, after Ruben strikes out, Lydia lies to Ruben and tells him that his family accidentally found out. Not quite ethical, but he agrees to the tests and the kit and wishes he was dead.
Dewey got pretty banged up in the riot and tells his rookie to get in the car (he’s not impressed with his rookie compared to Steele). Sammy and Sherman are informed they rolled up on an integrity check that went wrong. IA was checking up on their cops when, as they put it, “some real gangsters” showed up. Sammy goes off on them and Sherman calms him down. Armando calls Lydia a b*tch after asking her how his test results came back (they were all normal so far). He figured out that she had lied and she reminds him he’s 18 and he doesn’t have to tell anyone if he doesn’t want. Sherman and Mendoza end their night at a strip club while Sammy sulks at the bar and leaves after one drink – and finally congratulates Sherman on his award. Lydia gets home and hears her baby crying all the way from the driveway. She sees her mom pacing with him in her arms and turns back around and leans against the car. Sammy goes to the old lady’s house to see how she’s doing and finds out her son hasn’t arrived to take care of her and the cops never cleaned the crime scene. He gets upset and cleans it himself.
After their drinking, Mendoza gets a bit too crazy in what appears to be the parking lot of the strip club. There is a helicopter overhead and one of the strippers winds up waving a gun (that appears to have been taken from Mendoza’s vest holster). She starts shooting it in the air and Mendoza shoots her. Mendoza tells Sherman to get out of there as the cops arrive. Cooper gets home to find his boyfriend has moved out, without even a note. While he doesn’t take pills like I thought he would, he sits at the table with a bottle of something I can assume is pretty strong.
- Armando calling Lydia a b*tch, in my opinion, was his tough guy way of saying thank you. He’ll never admit that she was right.
- Chad Michael Murray will always be Lucas Scott. Playing a drunk cop with a pornstache won’t change that.
- Sherman questioning the paternity is totally valid. I think Sammy should re-do the test. It may break his heart if Nate isn’t his but if it’s not his, it will change his life. And get rid of Tammi.
- I was surprised Lydia kept the baby so I wasn’t surprised how she was treating him. It has to be breaking Ruben’s heart, considering how much he loves his kids. As a reminder, the father knows but he is married with kids of his own (I really wish they would have gone in a different direction with the baby’s father).
- Cooper. Poor Cooper. Sigh.
- It appears Dewey is still sober and it was nice to see him lead the cops in the riot when the actual person in charge hid in his car. Growth for Dewey? He’ll always be a bit crazy, but that’s what makes him Dewey.
Those are my TwoCents. What are yours? What do you think will happen to Mendoza? Will Sherman get brought down somehow? Will Sammy ask for a DNA test? Will Lydia shake her baby or learn to love him? Leave your two cents below and feel free to chat with me at Twitter at @FarrahWritesTV.
Next week: Expect the unexpected. And bring tissues.