Original Air Date: Jan 23, 2013
Wyner C – Senior Reviewer
There’s no such thing as good vs evil. You have to do what you have to do – it’s life. I know it’s a heartless, jaded philosophy but I’m from Brooklyn – deal with it. The funny family has dealt with it. Let’s see how…
Jay has become Phil – his in-law hates him. Gloria’s mother despises Jay and outright voices her low opinion of him. Jay figures out the only time he can tolerate Phil is when Phil stops trying and just be himself. Therefore, during his newborn’s christening, he gives a heartfelt speech.
The problem? Gloria has stolen her sister’s life – Gloria stole the letter intended for her sister, Sonia, to work in America. Sonia now is the mother’s caregiver and doesn’t have Gloria’s glorious life. Jay’s speech is about when he met his wife – the happiest day of his life besides the birth of his newborn (Claire and Mitchell = BURN). He sent over a piece of pie to Gloria and her friend – except the pie was intended for the “friend” (Sonia). Oops – another thievery.
Pretty girls fighting – nice. Jay breaks it up: the mother-in-law has to live her life and not cling to Sonia and Jay/Gloria will help Sonia find her own life (with Gloria donating dresses and shoes, of course). To appease the in-law, Jay names his son Fulgencio Joseph Pritchett – against his better judgment.
Cam and Mitchell is cutting down on the snark because of its influence on Lily – it’s hard. They get disinvited to a party because they refuse to partake in a snark-fest in front of Lily. They later find out they’re not bad parents – it’s Claire. She’s the queen of snark and Lily is getting it from her.
Not only is Claire a Snark-eupagus, she’s a banished person. She confronts businesses and burns bridges. Phil tries to solve the kid’s problems with love and understanding – unlike Claire. Unfortunately, Phil makes it worse (waaa-mbulance anyone?).
Here’re the issues: Phil’s billboard (his Phil-board) is blocked by florist balloons; Haley accidentally nicked a beloved tree of her employer (she’s moving the neighbor’s car while she’s away); Luke is being teased by a zebra-fearing-public-self-wetting geek (Luke accidentally called his teacher mom); Alex’s frenemy is throwing a party earlier than Alex’s party but with Alex’s theme.
Phil tried the nice way but as Fulgencio is getting christened and the priest is asking Claire and Phil (the godparents) to renounce Satan, we see a montage of Phil’s evil ways. This is on par with the episode of “South Park” when Eric Cartman exacted revenge on Scott Tenorman. It makes you never want to cross these people – ever. In the most awesome sequence, we see Luke do the bidding of a true Godfather while Phil gives the best sinister face (why the face?!).
Luke takes the wedge off the neighbor’s camper so the tree gets crushed – Haley is off the hook. Luke takes a BB gun to pop the balloons so the billboard is visible – Phil’s problem is solved. Luke then plant rats at Alex’s frenemy’s party while swiping a big stuffed zebra – Alex’s party will be a success after this fiasco. Then, to further evoke the Godfather in the most family-friendly way, Luke’s geek friend wakes up…with the severed toy zebra head in his bed!!! Genius. Pure freaking genius.
Favorite moments/Things to ponder:
1. How awesome was Phil’s evil deeds montage?! Luke was incredible and Phil looked mighty menacing! LOVE. Also, “don’t ask me about my business” was total brilliance!
2. Fulgencio Umberto Pritchett or F.U. Pritchett. Really? Good thing it’s FJ Pritchett – better? A little.
3. Nice to see Dylan again. I guess Disney was a stepping stone to being a chauffeur – dream big.
4. I can see Claire burning bridges. I’ve done a few of those in my fits of rage. I understand.
5. Mitchell’s underwear was not funny, sorry, especially compared to Phil/Luke’s evil deeds montage.
6. The running joke of Jay not declaring Claire/Mitchell’s birth being happy moments was splendid. Being a middle child, I understand. I truly do.
7. Isn’t Fulgencio a cutester? I love baby smell too – I just don’t rub it on myself (ahem, Claire).
8. Quote of the episode:
“Son-of-a-bitch, I’m Phil.”
~ Jay, realizing what Phil feels and the horror it elicits.
9. Family moment(s) of the episode:
Phil enlisting Luke to do his bidding – thereby indoctrinating him into the Dunphy mob.
Did you like the evil deeds montage coinciding with Phil’s renouncement of Satan? (Loves!) Fulgencio – would you have done it? Did Gloria really steal her sister’s life? Did you like Phil a little more (if possible) after his master plan? (Totally) Did you think Phil’s plan was so sinister? What are the worse initials have you encountered? (FU Pritchett is pretty bad) Discuss away!!!!