Original Air Date: Jan 17, 2013
Wyner C – Senior Reviewer
Apparently Judgeitis is contagious. Mike must have caught it from Rachel. All that kissing – knowing Rachel had Judgeitis. Mike, I thought you were smart. Let’s see how Mike displays the symptoms of this infuriating disease where judging others becomes an obsession.
Case of the week is poor-little-rich-boy (Liam) struck a person with his car and fled. Yup, instead of stopping, idiot fled. He called 911 but fled. Really? Not the smartest thing (well, the kid did look Neanderthal-ish). Mike immediately barks questions at Liam; demanding to know if it was alcohol related (no).
Harvey wants Mike to sit this one out – it’s hitting too close to home. Mike’s parents were killed in a car accident and granny just died. Plus, he has the beginning symptoms of Judgeitis but Harvey doesn’t know this – he’s a lawyer, not a doctor.
Mike assures Harvey he can handle it…and he does. The victim, Albert, was dressed in all black – he didn’t want to be seen. This means Richy-Rich wasn’t at fault. To make Harvey even giddier: Albert was probably fleeing after committing the egregious crime of graffiti (the horror!!!).
The DA, Katrina, is willing to lessen the charges from prison to community service…if Mike puts in a good word for her with Harvey. You see, shady lawyers!! She wants to jump to corporate law like Harvey. Mike questions her motives to Harvey (Judgeitis rearing its judge-y head). The slick-one doesn’t care – he’s not hiring her so it’s not a bribe. I agree – it feels shady but nothing was exchanged. Mike is annoying me.
Harvey tasks Mike to negotiate compensation with the family of the deceased. Mike doesn’t want to be the lawyer he remembers coming to strong-arm granny when his parents died. The family is humble, knowing dead-Albert wasn’t a model citizen; they only want funeral costs ($20k). Mike is allowed to go up to $100k so he insists the family take the larger sum. Albert’s Chinese; therefore, the family of math geniuses know $100k > $20k and take the larger settlement.
When the plea deal goes through, Liam-the-moron decides to further his descent into idiocy. He confesses to Mike that he wasn’t drinking but he was smoking weed (legal in some states – not NY, boo). Mike has a titty attack – he wants Harvey to annul the deal. Whatevs stoner-fake-lawyer!! Hypocrisy is the ugliest symptom of Judgeitis. Harvey shoos Mike away like the gnat he’s becoming.
Mike actually breaks attorney-client privilege and tells the DA about Liam’s drug use. Except Katrina ignores him and puts the deal in. Mike is livid – demanding to know how she can live with herself. Plenty fine since she’s doing him a solid by not reporting him to the bar association. Also, Mike, you’re a fake lawyer (essentially a conman) who showed up high to meet his client. Pot…meet kettle.
Katrina only put the deal in because Harvey is hiring her as an associate. Harvey knew Mike is spiraling into Stupid-ville so he bribed the DA with a job. It wasn’t to protect Liam but Mike. Harvey is soooo good to that fool and Mike doesn’t even appreciate it!!
Harvey knows that since Mike is a faker, if the bar association hears about this, dude’s busted. Mike throws a hissy fit when he found out about Harvey’s bribe. Judgeitis made him say some stupid things but I’m on Harvey’s side. Get a grip!! I sorta wish Harvey fired that ingrate. Harvey did tell Mike the next time he has to stick his neck out for Mike, the fraud is gone. Good.
I know granny is deader than dead but Mike’s a FAKE lawyer. Either stop being a pretend-lawyer and go back to your old life or suck it up. As a lawyer, there’s no black and white. Even as a human being, the world is full of different shades of gray (not the cheesy S&M Louis Litt 50 shades kind). Mike is living a lie and he’s blaming Harvey for it – no, Mike, blame yourself. Mike’s deterioration and sudden burst of conscience is a downer and needs to stop. The hypocrisy is the most exasperating part – the gall that conman possesses.
In Louis Litt news, his sex life has just been Litt up!! Sheila, the female-Louis, is giving male-Louis weird sexy time that includes coconut oil, a ski mask and duct tape – don’t even try to imagine; you’ll have to scrub your brain. Louis asks female-Louis to send over five of the top Harvard grads – he’s hiring an associate now that he’s senior partner.
Louis hires The Machine but when Donna realizes The Machine can bust Mike’s Harvard lie, Harvey asks Jessica to prevent the hire. Jessica tells Louis there’s a hiring freeze but Litt takes it as payback for his betrayal. I think Jessica did enjoy it just a little, no? Sheila put her reputation on the line to close The Machine for Louis – she’s not happy. Louis is now associate-less and female-Louis-less. Poor man….(blame Mike Ross!!)
As for the Rachel/Mike/Tess situation, Rachel is mad and her Judgeitis flares up. Frankly, blah, blah, blah. Mike kicks Tess out because she’s married and he’s spiraling. He’s been smoking weed with Tess (while admonishing Liam for his irresponsibility). He actually screams at Tess regarding their non-conversation about her husband. I mean, really? Was that a conversation he wanted to have while high? Anyway, Mike is in Loner-ville, stewing in his own conscience, not realizing he’s a hypocrite and Harvey saved his behind once again.
Favorite moments/Things to ponder:
1. Harvey started dating Zoe but it ended before it began. Zoe is going to raise her niece because her brother is dying of cancer. How cute was Harvey with the little girl?!! Why can’t Harvey say – let’s have a go, it’s an instant family I secretly wanted!! I wish he did. A domesticated Harvey would be fun to watch, no?
2. Rachel telling Mike her history of being a mistress and then saying he has no idea what he passed on – that was icky. It reeked of desperation. Woman, you’re sad. Can she go to law school and go away?!!! Also, it’s about time Mike called her out for her judgmental attitude.
3. Mike going to the lawyer who visited granny after his parents died was strange. I understand he wanted an apology, an acknowledgement, something from the lawyer. But, was he really going to be satisfied? He’s totally out of control!! Harvey needs to rein his ass in – Mike’s becoming a loose cannon. Also, Mike’s words to Liam about a chance he doesn’t deserve – kinda describes Mike, no? Maybe that’s why he’s seeing the world as black/white – he wants to do good. Unfortunately, a fraud is a fraud.
4. How awesome was Maria The Machine in her interview with Louis? If only I had that much hutzpah.
5. Sheila and Louis make the oddest couple but their weirdness works for them. I feel like I need a cigarette while simultaneously run to a corner and curl up crying in a fetal position after watching their scenes. Also, Louis knows Harvey was allowed to hire Katrina, furthering the schism between him and Jessica/Harvey. All because of Mike…again!!
6. I have a pet peeve. It’s when Asian actors are employed to play Chinese or other Asian groups and they have to speak the language…and they butcher it. Dude, the father was speaking Cantonese (I understood him) but he daughter was speaking gibberish.
7. “Your emotions get the better of you on a merger”
~ Harvey, understanding Mike better than Mike knows himself.
8. Mike: Ok, I thought my problem was showing you my work unnecessarily.
Harvey: Who said there’s only one problem?
Mike: Well played.
~ Um, Mike, your problem is Judgeitis. Just buck up and curtail your mourning process before Harvey fires your ass.
9. “Goddam Mike Ross. He’s the gift that keeps on giving”
~ Jessica, on Mike Ross and the constant trouble he conjures. I felt the same way about that fool in this episode. Also, did you notice that Jessica was skeptical about Maria outing Mike until Harvey said Donna is sure – Jessica trusts Donna’s judgment.
10. “Now get your shit together”
~ Harvey to Mike. Word, just word.
How awkward would Katrina’s first day of work be – fake lawyer, meet bribed lawyer? Wow, Harvey knows how to pick ‘em. Should Harvey have fired Mike? Is Harvey giving Mike too many chances? Does Mike’s Judgeitis piss you off as much as it did me? Was his hypocrisy annoying? Is Rachel’s Judgeitis too far gone to cure? Will Mike get his shit together?!! Discuss away!!