Original Air Date: Jan 10, 2013
Laura Kelley – Associate Staff Writer
I got super excited when I saw the title to this week’s Elementary and you all can surely guess why. I got even more excited when the first person I saw in the episode was the wonderfully gruff Vinnie Jones! Nothing puts a damper on excitement quite like a brutal murder (unless you’re a Holmes), and Vinnie’s character—we’re apparently on a first name basis, when did that happen—hangs a man and slits his throat while watching a game of soccer. Okay, I hate sports as much as the next clumsy weirdo, but that’s a bit of an overreaction. Follow me after the jump for more!
Meanwhile Watson is nearly done with her tenure as Holmes’s sober companion. He of course won’t even acknowledge this and decides he’ll put beehives in her room which sounds terrible. I would much rather live with a helpful, stylish doctor friend than thousands of terrifying bees. Our intrepid duo meet Gregson at the scene of the aforementioned crime and right away Sherlock is able to describe the killer as well as the weapon. But it isn’t because Sherlock has Sylvia Browne mind powers, it’s because he knows of 36 identical killings. He tells everyone that the killer calls himself M (I am so excited, is anyone else excited either as a canon fan OR a Fritz Lang fan? Anyone? Bueller?) and drains the victims’ blood. The victims have been found on beaches having washed up there and some have never been found at all, and the killer’s choice of victim seems totally random. There’s nothing to tie the 30+ dead together.
Watson offers to help but Sherlock tells her to go be useful elsewhere. She always seems to have other places to be and to be totes honest, I would clear my schedule to help a super cute detective solve crimes. Come on, girl, you’ve got to prioritize. At her therapist, Watson doesn’t think she wants to continue doing what she’s doing with Sherlock, so maybe she should start doing what she’s not doing with Sherlock. As a romance novelist I pretty much can’t help but hope. Back at the soon-to-be-bee-filled apartment, Sherlock gets a note from M and does not want to go to a safe house. I guess it’s really hard to get a bee-sitter when you go out. Sherlock and Watson don’t want to leave for different reasons. This is the point where I was all, “GIRL, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!” While M is scoping out a woman, a kid comes up to him and distracts him. He then goes to Sherlock with a picture he got of M. Yay Baker Street Irregulars! Sherlock has a few kids on the lookout for M already.
We then discover that Sherlock doesn’t want the cops to get M first because M killed Irene. Sherlock wants to kill him, and I have bad news for him because anyone who’s seen any movie ever knows you cannot mess with Vinnie Jones. Gregson knows what Sherlock wants to do. As M ties up the woman from before, Sherlock hits him with a baton and takes him elsewhere. M admits that he had no idea he was leaving Sherlock the note…because he is an assassin working for Moriarty, not Moriarty himself, and he has a bone to pick with Moriarty. He proves he did not kill Irene, and Sherlock stabs him. At the police station M says Sherlock stabbed him defending himself. He wants Sherlock to get Moriarty too.
Meanwhile, while I try to clean up the remnants of my blown mind, Holmes’s father declines Watson’s request to extend Sherlock’s contract. While that’ll be interesting, I am too busy crying because Vinnie Jones isn’t Moriarty to process that. He is awesome and I loved him on Celebrity Big Brother! I hope we get to see more of him in the future. I am really wondering who Moriarty will be. I don’t think anyone is going to top Andrew Scott, honestly, but I’ll be looking forward to seeing them try. What did you think? Who would be your dream choice to play Moriarty? Let us know in the comments and I’ll see you kids next week!