KPonTV on Reality TV I Actually Like

what's real in reality?

Anyone who knows me, and even those who don’t but read my material, know that I am not a fan of reality TV. I just don’t understand it. However, I feel I need to clarify some of that. It’s been a while since I’ve written a column, so now seems just as good a time as any.

I don’t hate all reality. I don’t. For the most part, I hate shows that follow people simply living life. Lives that don’t have much in there other than being stupid people. Jersey Shore, any show with a Real Housewife, Real World, etc. We make heroes and celebrities out of these people just because they’re there. All that being said, there is some reality that’s fun to watch. We’ll get into that in a second.

Let’s get going, shall we?

You can hear everyone under 25 years old, with an accent or six-pack (abs or beer) saying it – “PLEASE put me on TV”! Real World used to be that – real. The kids just living and trying to survive. Now it’s a crazy sex show with every single person on it doing so just so they too can have a fashion line, sex tape or auto-tuned single.

In a world of Tom Hanks, William H. Macy, Meryl Streep, Annette Benning, Kevin Spacey and more – how is Snooki on every cover of “Entertainment” magazine? WHY is she famous? What talent does she have?

Let’s chat a bit about the Bachelor/Bachelorette – shall we? Sure, the world is a jaded place. Half of all marriages end in divorce. The world doesn’t understand the true feeling of love anymore it seems. All the people who get SO enraptured in these shows cry for the girls, scream at the men and get SO enraged. Answer me this – do you really believe these people are falling in love while COMPETING to be the winner? On national TV? IT’S A GAME! They want to come in 2nd. Why? The 2nd place finisher ends up on Ellen, Dancing With the Stars and usually being the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. It’s Hollywood – it’s not love.

All that said – there ARE shows I like. I promise.

photo: bravo

Top Chef
On a whole, I don’t have many problems with the competition style of reality shows. I can see merit in Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Amazing Race and Survivor. My issue is when they focus too much on the ‘drama’ between contestants. Sure, there’s some of that in Top Chef, but it’s a rarity.

The show is about the food and the competitions. It’s just fun and above all – it’s FOOD! You watch, enjoy and then get hungry! This season’s All-Stars was one of my favorites. The level of competition was great, the challenges were entertaining and the guest judges were fun. Bravo to … well … Bravo.

photo: syfy

Who Wants To Be A Superhero
This SyFy show was so silly it was good. It ran for two seasons and it featured normal people coming up with super alter-egos and being judged by the man, the myth and the legend – Stan Lee. These people would show up in their homemade costumes and if they made it far enough – Stan’s people would make their new costumes, straight out of superhero movies. They had back-stories, catch phrases and everything!

The contestants had to do all kinds of super tasks – helping people, showing they had heart, courage, smarts, etc. It was kitschy and fun. It brought viewers back to wonder “Remember when I thought I was a superhero – this guy could have made that happen!”

I loved how they got voted off – standing on a roof of some warehouse with Stan on a big-screen television. The winning contestant got an awesome prize – Stan would actually make a comic book about their character! It was DVR goodness.

photo: discovery

Deadliest Catch
Many shows on Discovery could have made this list. Man v Wild, Survivor Man, Mythbusters, etc. However none of them touch the soul the way Deadliest Catch does. Watching those ships and men fight the Arctic Seas makes my living room colder – I swear.

The stories of these modern day adventurers start with the strains of Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive” and spotlights one of the most insane professions on the planet. Yes, I know you’re reading this now and saying “KP – it’s a show that just follows people around as they live their life.” Yes, true. I’ll give you that. But this isn’t hot tubs, bars, and beaches – this is life on the edge for a job that 99.999% of the World’s population will never get close to. Plus – Mike Rowe is the best voice over guy since Morgan Freeman.

Last season we lost Captain Phil. I watched the entire season waiting for the episode we all knew was coming – and it STILL got me choked up. I don’t know the man – other than on my TV – but watching the reactions of those in the fleet around him feeling the loss, that’s what got me. It put the ‘real’ in reality for me.

Accidental Finds
There are two shows that I recently fell in to.

You know the drill. You’re sitting there on a random Saturday afternoon and there’s nothing on TV. No sports, your DVR is empty and HBO is showing some awful teen murder flick. You’re flipping through the channels and there’s nothing. I mean nothing – you’re almost stopping on the Barefoot Contessa to watch her cook. Then you find it. A show you have never seen, maybe have heard of, but it stops you in your tracks. Ten minutes in and you’re hooked. You hit the guide button on your remote and you see the most wonderful thing – it’s a MARATHON! Eight episodes in a row. Turn off the phone and pop the corn. TV is here!

photo: science

Mantracker
If you just looked at the title you would think that it was a bad dating show on CW. You would be wrong. Science Channel’s Mantracker stars a true cowboy (complete with hat, boots and horse) and he tracks down teams of two competitors. They have maps and a compass. He has a local land expert. That’s it – them vs him. The contestants (called the “prey”) have 48 hours to get from the starting point to the finish line without being caught. They go through marsh, forest, sand, abandoned buildings, rivers, ponds, etc etc etc….

I’ve seen Tracker get the prey, I’ve seen the prey win (usually JUST barely). My favorite moments in this show are when the prey think they are safe for a moment and stop to chat or take a breath and then they hear the snort of a horse. I spill the aforementioned popcorn all over my couch when I see the prey nearly mess themselves. Those expressions are TV hilarity at its best.

photo: history

Top Shot
This was a one and done marathon for me. I was in a hotel for a conference in Baltimore, MD recently. The hotel had about 10 channels and there was nothing on – or so I thought. I flipped to the History Channel. Welcome to Top Shot – a competition show where some of the best shooters in the world come to show off their skills. I saw them use everything from a slingshot to a sniper rifle to throwing knives. I kept waiting for someone to bust out Chewbacca’s bowcaster. Every competition was well set up and they didn’t focus on personal life drama stuff too much – it was about the shooting.

Why is this surprising? I’ve never shot a gun nor have I ever had any interest in doing so. However, there was something about these men and women showcasing this amazing skill that hooked me. Moving targets, thin pieces of rope, exploding boxes, balloons, and yes – even tin cans – they all went down for the Top Shots. I haven’t watched the show since that evening in Baltimore, but deep inside I hope the second season marathon will be on the next time I’m home sick from work.

Those are just a few examples. There are more I’ve enjoyed such as The Joe Schmoe Show, Murder in Small Town X, Trading Spaces and most competition shows on Food Network.

How about you? Are you more of a fan of reality or scripted programs? What reality marathons have you been sucked in to? Share your TwoCents in the comments below. Let’s start the discussion!