90210 – Recap & Review – Mother Dearest

photo: the cw

90210
Mother Dearest

Original Air Date: Nov 4, 2010

Meg – Sr. Reviewer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

Many thanks to Farrah for recapping last week as I celebrated my joyeux anniversaire! But since I don’t live in West Beverley, my shindig was missing the trickery, nudity, bizarre celebrity cameo, and contrivance that abounded at Adrianna’s magazine party. Tonight, Annie and Dix meet their father’s “other woman,” Navid and Silver bond over porn, Naomi plays with Oscar, Jen makes me want to call child services, and… Joe Jonas shows up?

Why is Joe Jonas in West Bev? Read on for the full recap and review!

Casa Wilson
Annie and Dixon accidentally their parents’ divorce papers in the mail. Yikes. Deciding to take matters into their own hands, they zip over to wherever it is Rob Estes allegedly spends his days. However, before they can run some “Parent Trap” interference, they run into their father’s lady “friend” at his new residence. Ouch. Debbie is heartbroken when her kids tell her that Harry has moved on. She freaks out and gets some platonic comfort from Ryan—hmm, could this lead to something more?

Jen and Mommy Issues
No-longer-fully-Evil Jen (erm… maybe I can just cut that down to “Jen”) is having a terrible time learning to parent little Jacques. I like this storyline because, as over the top as Jen is, I imagine that a lot of new mothers probably freak out and get insecure about their baby-caring skills.

Maternal anxiety Jen remains ridiculous, dressing her baby in tweed and leather pants and not wanting to use diapers because they make babies look “poofy.” Jen has a crisis of confidence when she takes little Jacques to a baby fashion expo and is confronted with moms who she sees as more capable than she is. She also tries to leave the show with the wrong stroller and baby. Ok, I’ll admit that was sort of hilarious. When she lets the baby roll off the changing table and fall on the floor (does this baby do his own stunts?), that’s the last straw! Ryan tells her she’s doing everything fine (my instincts, however, say that they might want to check the kid for internal bleeding, but maybe I’ve watched too much E.R.), but Jen has already made up her mind. At the end of the episode, she’s abandoned Jacques with Ryan, convinced that he is better off without her.

Navid and Silver
Navid confides in Silver that he’s worried his father might be knowingly using underage girls in his porn videos. What’s Silver’s answer? Sting operation! Yup, Silver hussies herself up in some skintight leopard atrocity and goes to audition for Mr. Shirazi’s next film. Umm, Silver – do you remember how well your last “play slutty dress-up and catch the bad guy” sting went last time? Clearly not…

Silver makes nice with Holly Woodlove (yeah, right) another wood-be “actress” and finds out that Navid’s suspicions were right. Then, before she has to reenact outtakes from Striptease, Silver skedaddles. When Navid confronts his dad, Papa Shirazi’s answer is basically, “don’t hate—my job gives you a nice life!” Not really thinking his actions through, Navid blabs to an obviously concerned guidance counselor that he just discovered his “dad is a child pornographer!” Oh that’s going to come back to bite him…

Dejected Navid shares an embrace with Silver and they stare at each other in that “Omigod-we’re going to kiss now, right?” way until they get interrupted by Liam and Dixon. Do I smell a triangle?

Naomi and Oscar
Ivy warns Naomi that Oscar is an evil lout. Regardless, when Naomi tries to be nice to Ivy and offer her some cover-up in the girls’ bathroom, Ivy is all, “I’m a tomboy! Woot! Tomboy to the max! Girls are lame! I don’t wear makeup! ‘Cause I’m spunky!” Ivy tells Naomi that cover-up isn’t the answer to everything. Neither is your tragic collection of hats, Ivy…

At the Beach Club party, Naomi tells Oscar she wants to be alone with him. Who actually says that? She convinces him to skinny dip with her in the pool. He doesn’t seem to notice that in the space it takes him to disrobe and cannonball, Naomi has barely taken off a shoe. Suddenly Ivy shows up and snatches Oscar’s clothes. Aww, girl bonding! Naomi and Ivy collaborated on a revenge mission. Despite the fact that Oscar is normally a totally gross exhibitionist, he is upset being naked and exposed. Ivy dumps his clothes off a bridge. Yeah, suck on that, you accent-challenged, nationality-confused, second-rate rentboy!

Adrianna and Joe Jonas?
As a publicity stunt, Adrianna’s manager (aka the creepster who makes my skin crawl) arranges for her to take Joe Jonas as her date to a magazine party. Okay, here’s where I have to fess up. I am aware there are Jonas brothers. And that they are some sort of music-making entity with unsurprising popularity in the teenage demographic. Other than that, I have no idea who the bedoodle they are. Are they a new, less girlishly-coiffed Hanson?

Ade tells Navid that she is going to walk the red carpet with a Jonas brother. He is predictably unenthused. Does anyone else notice the man makeup in this scene? Jessica Lowndes is such a pretty girl—I don’t understand why they keep making her look like a junkie raccoon. Joe is a nice guy and gives Ade a little reality check about the fact that her manager is an epic sleazebag from planet yuck. They walk the red carpet together and Joe takes advantage of an E! interview to reassure his Grandma that he’s not dating Lady Gaga. Heh. Ade grows back her spine and actually pulls Navid onto the red carpet and introduces him to the media as her wonderful boyfriend. When Victor confronts her at the party, Ade tells him that he needs to back off because he will only make money if she does well and that from now on his 80% cut is decreasing to 5%. Go Adrianna! I’ve been begging her to rebel for weeks – am I not as persuasive as Joe Jonas?

What did you think of the episode? Do you think Jen is gone forever? Are Ryan and Debbie going to get closer? Will Navid stray with Silver? What are you hoping will happen? Leave some comments and let me know your two cents.