90210 – Recap & Review – Age Of Inheritance

photo: cw

90210
Age Of Inheritance

Original Air Date: Sep 20, 2010

Meg – Senior Reviewer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

In 90210’s second outing of the season, Naomi gains her trust fund, but loses some friends, Oscar continues to pursue his creepy mother-daughter fantasy (Hey Oscar? Go watch Nip/Tuck. It’s been done), and Mr. Cannon moves in on his next target.

Naomi and the Benjamins
Naomi’s rich! Despite Evil Jen’s best efforts to convince the family lawyer to wait a few years, Naomi is now officially entitled to her trust fund. She proves that she is mature enough to handle this by immediately throwing the biggest birthday bash ever, plastering her face on invitations and swag bags (yup, we’re talking Naomi tattoos, Naomi cupcakes, etc…).

Naomi apologizes to Silver for hitting on Teddy and claims that she doesn’t remember anything and thinks someone drugged her drink. Silver forgives her without a second thought. Later, though, she overhears Naomi talking about that night and realizes that her BFF is wearing pants on fire.

While driving around with Adrianna, Naomi continues to take her pain out in creative ways by nearly running down Mr. Cannon. Ade freaks out (way to be sensitive to your friend who was in a terrible, fatal car accident last episode, Naomi!). She calms a bit and tells Naomi that she’s bummed that Laurel hasn’t called her back about her (stolen) songs. I think she should be bummed that her electrogreen eyeshadow is taking over her face.

At Naomifest 2010, the birthday girl descends from the ceiling (think Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge, minus the tuberculosis). And in perhaps the randomest cameo this show has had, Adrian Grenier’s band is playing at the party. Wow, Entourage must really not be paying the bills anymore. Adrian bops around on the drums, looking appropriately embarrassed whenever the camera veers his way.

Ade and Annie confront Naomi about hitting on Teddy, and we have possibly my favorite dialogue ever on this show.

Ade: Why did you hit on Teddy?
Naomi: You were a drug addict who got pregnant and didn’t know who the father was!
Annie: This is not about Ade!
Naomi: What do you know—you frickin’ killed a guy!

Ivy, Dixon, and Oscar the Lout
I find it hard to believe that Laurel wants to end her yucky affair with Oscar, but keeps sleeping with him. Does not compute…

Regardless, when mom’s back is turned, Oscar is still trying to board the Ivy train. He buddies up to Dixon, apologizing for being a third wheel and confessing that he just doesn’t have any friends in Bev Hills. Dixon fails to smell a rat (must be all that aftershave) and invites Oscar to hang out with Navid and Teddy.

Oscar buys everyone a round of drinks. Wait – is this guy over 21? He’s over 21 and he’s investing time and energy to bed a 17-year old? Really? I have no words…

Teddy abstains from alcohol until he gets a text that he’s been named the #1 tennis player in California. Bummed that his career is over, he cozies up to some Cuervo. The boys play darts, which is a great idea, since alcohol and pointy instruments of death are always a winning combination.

A bachelorette party wanders over and eggs Dixon into letting the bride-to-be take a body shot off him. Shirts are pushed up, stomachs are salted, and yes, many photos are taken. When the boys show up to Naomi’s party, they’re pretty drunk. Ivy has already received Facebook pics and texts of the body shot and is totally humiliated.

Later, she and Oscar talk in her bedroom. Oscar is gross and inappropriate and weirdly thrilled to learn that Ivy is a virgin. As he inches closer to Ivy, Oscar claims that he cashed in his V card “with the wrong girl.” Subtle, Oscar. Real subtle. He then goes and pays off the bachelorette and her friends for staging the body shot. Lame.

Annie, Liam, and New Guy
Liam is proactive about tackling Girl Code regulations. He gets Naomi to confirm to Annie that she’s over Liam and has no problem whatsoever if Liam and Annie date. They celebrate by smooching and getting chased by the police for yacht-squatting. Annie gets angry and reminds him that she is on probation and can’t afford to get in trouble. He apologizes and somehow manages to make grand theft auto-boat cute. Annie claims she has to stay on the right side of the law and that they (yet again) can’t be together. Way to try, Annie.

Meanwhile, Annie bumps into a cute playwright/bartender who asks her out. She wastes no time post-Liam and takes the new guy to Naomi’s party as her date. Who is this mystery guy? Well, we see him confronting Liam later that night by the dock, claiming “We can fix this! We’re brothers!” Hmmm…

Ryan and Evil Jen
Evil Jen (wearing some sort of unholy maternity muumuu) has two months left before her due date. To her extreme irritation, she gets sentenced to two months of bed rest. When her assistant quits, she pleads with Ryan not to abandon her. Ryan (finally!) shows some spine and says he’ll help her out if she signs some legal papers verifying that he will have paternal rights. They decide to move in together. I disapprove.

Silver and Mr. Cannon
Silver forgives Teddy pretty quickly, and I’m glad she gave him the benefit of the doubt (even if he did appear to be embracing her half-naked friend in an empty bedroom). He loses points later by showing up drunk at Naomi’s and lying about it. Silver reminds Teddy that her mom was an alcoholic and that she’s not interested in going down that road again.

Silver and Mr. Cannon work on some video project by mock interviewing each other on camera. Somehow the conversation gets into how Mr. Cannon’s wife has just left him. Silver is sweet and tells him that he’s smart and great. When she leaves, Mr. Cannon (can we please give him a first name already?) steals her scarf (to sniff? To complete his shrine o’ Silver?). Weirdo.

When Silver bounces from Naomi’s party she goes to the school (in her sassy party clothes, natch) to help Mr. Cannon with his documentary project. She confesses that she’s angry at Naomi and may have just broken up with her boyfriend, and appropriately vulnerable if there happened to be a creepy teacher with a predilection for high school girls… Mr. Cannon tells her that she’s great and Teddy’s blind if he can’t see that and so on and so forth. It would almost be sweet if he weren’t a rapist.

They are interrupted by a frenzied Naomi, who ran out from her party after Ade told her that Silver left to go see Mr. Cannon. Naomi asks to speak to Silver alone and after lots of flustering, finally tells Silver that Mr. Cannon raped her. Silver doesn’t believe her and is disgusted that Naomi would lie about being raped.

We close out the episode with Mr. Cannon alone in the classroom replaying the video footage of Silver telling him he’s great.

This episode was so-so for me—it’s hard to be invested in characters when they seem to make decisions for the sake of drama (hello, Annie…) or show no depth (Mr. Cannon) OR have an inexplicable fascination with moody, frenetic high school girls (ditto Mr. Cannon and Oscar). What did you think of this episode? Leave some comments and let me know your two cents.