the mighty boosh
The Legend of Old Gregg
Original Air Date: Aug 23, 2005
JD – Associate Staff Writer
jd@thetwocentscorp.com
Oh, Old Gregg. Old Gregg has to be one of the most iconic characters in the Boosh. There is more Gregg cosplay at Boosh events than other characters, from what I’ve witnessed, and fans scream their heads off when Gregg walks on stage at live shows. I think part of his popularity is that he’s just so strange, even in the Boosh universe. Sure, we have foxes addicted to crack and men made out of cheese, but Gregg… Gregg is a work of art all his own. He’s neither male nor female, man nor fish. And he’s got The Funk.
Yeah, he’s one of those characters that regularly gets the Boosh boys accused of having written the show on drugs. So let’s get down to it.
Howard and Vince have stretched their musical abilities at a gig they played, and it winds up getting them run out of town. See, while they bragged about it to Naboo, we later find out that it was so bad that Vince is worried about ever being allowed back in the city. And that Howard had been jumping around with a bassoon taped to his head on stage.
They wind up at a fishermen’s pub at the Black Lake where they stick out like sore thumbs. They meet Ramsey (Fulcher), a local artist who puts shells on things. Howard tells Ramsey that they came out to the lake for inspiration, and Ramsey says that when he needs inspiration, he goes fishing on Black Lake. He tells them now is the best time, when the moon is full, and they scramble to get out on the water.
Howard, who seems to consider himself the wise old fisherman, can’t seem to catch a fish. Vince, however, winds up just calling them to him, and they jump in the boat. Eventually, Vince gets the boat full on his side and gets bored, so Howard sends him back to land on a dinghy and stays behind to fish.
When Vince gets back to the pub, the fishermen want Vince to tell them a tale of how he caught all the fish he did, and when Vince gets to telling them he was out on Blake Lake when the moon was full, everyone wets themselves in fear… then they tell Vince what the lore is about Old Gregg. Some say he’s a ghost. Some say he’s acquired a taste for human flesh and can only be caught using a child’s toe as bait. And who do you guess runs into Gregg out on the lake?
Howard has finally caught a fish! Or so he thinks. A strange fog envelopes the boat, and when it clears, Gregg (Fielding) is sitting on the opposite side of the boat. He has seaweed hair, a silver jacket, and a pink tutu. And he has a lot of questions for Howard, like “Ever drink Bailey’s out of a shoe?” or “Want to go to a club where people wee on each other?” Oh, and he wants to know what Howard thinks of him. He’s not satisfied with Howard’s assessment that he seems like a nice modern gentleman, so he shows Howard the real him. He stands and show Howard his “mangina”, lifting his tutu. A bright light shoots out of Gregg’s mangina, into Howard’s face. Howard passes out.
Back at the pub, Howard’s hat has washed up on shore. The fisherman are certain he’s dead, which the pub’s band makes a song about, but Vince decides he’s going to take action. He calls Naboo and manages to talk Naboo into coming to the rescue with his submarine.
Howard wakes up in an underwater cave with Gregg standing over him. Gregg tries to impress Howard by giving him Bailey’s and showing off his watercolors, pictures of himself and of Bailey’s. But Howard wants to go, which is when Gregg asks Howard if he loves him. He thinks Howard should love him. Howard has seen his “downstairs mixup”, after all, but finally Howard has to put his foot down and tell Gregg no, and that he actually finds Gregg a little pathetic.
Gregg says he can deal with that. He’ll deal with that the same way he dealt with another fisherman, who he points out to Howard, mounted on the wall. Howard does a quick turn around and says that maybe he does really love Gregg. He was playing love games… which leads into our song for this episode, “Love Games”. It’s a funky little back and forth between Howard and Gregg that always makes me giggle, with Howard singing the high “girl part” and telling Gregg he’s moving too fast while Gregg flicks his tongue at Howard suggestively.
Gregg makes Howard a romantic dinner of raw fish and Bailey’s, bragging to Howard that he got an A+ in home economics. He realizes Howard isn’t happy, though, and says that he can make Howard happy. He’s got The Funk, which turns out to be a living creature, like a medicine ball covered in teats. We get an animation with the story of the funk, which is basically that it came from outer space, and the liquid that could be milked out of it is what gave Parliament their funk. But George Clinton kicked it into the ocean, which is where Gregg found it.
What does that have to do with making Howard happy, though? Gregg says that they can leave the cave and go become famous musicians. Howard sees the opportunity to get back on dry land and seizes it… even if it means agreeing to marry Gregg. Gregg rushes off to pick out a wedding dress, just as the rest of the gang show up in Naboo’s submarine to rescue Howard. Howard dashes away, taking The Funk with him.
With The Funk in tow, the boys are able to get back on the musical map. Back at the pub, they do their own rendition of “We’ve Got The Funk”, and eventually get everyone in the pub getting down to the beat. They are stoked when they leave, ready to go back to London and get on with their music. All is well… except that Gregg is on the roof of their van in his wedding dress.
No worries, though. He’s gone again in the next episode. Why would the Boosh worry about tying up loose ends now?! They never have before!
Okay, I am going to be a big dork here. I have to admit that Gregg actually makes me a little sad, like I want to cuddle him. He’s lonely, and socially inept, and he just wants to be loved. I know I should just find him ridiculous and funny, and I do, but I also find him to be a bit of a tragic character. Maybe that’s part of why I like him so much. He’s not just this strange and silly creature. He’s also got this part of him that I think a lot of people can relate to. I could probably write a whole essay about it, but I’ve already run out of space in this review. So I guess I’ll stop being a dork now.
So what do you guys think about The Legend of Old Gregg? Give me your two cents!
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TheTwoCents 
In the musical context of funk music and what the funk is about, Old Gregg represents the ego. He is lonely, self-absorbed, and obsessed with “owning” his lover. If you know the message of Parliament Funkadelic, and give a damn about funk music, there are quite a few hidden meanings in this episode, as with all of them really. The Nightmare of Milky Joe is really a clever juxtapositioning of idealism vs. pragmatism.