90210 – Recap & Review – Multiple Choices

photo: the cw

90210
Multiple Choices

Original Air Date: Apr 27, 2010

Meg – Senior Reviewer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

Tonight in everyone’s favorite scandalous zip code, Naomi atones for her crime, Liam and Annie grow closer, Debbie and Harry are bound for splitsville, and Dixon finds himself on the wrong side of a surveillance cam.

Also, Evil Jen and Loser Mark return to the series with a resounding “meh.”

Naomi and her Redemption
Principal Harry has decided to punish Naomi for falsely accusing her teacher of sexual harassment by putting her on school cleanup duty. To be fair, I think she’s more upset with her mandatory neon orange traffic vest than she is about picking up trash.

Half the school still thinks Naomi’s story was true, as some kids have spray-painted “molester” on Mr. Canon’s parking lot (at least they spelled it right). Naomi surprises me for the second time in two episodes by standing up in the lunch room and announcing to everyone that she lied. Unfortunately, she experiences some inconveniently-timed verbal diarrhea and publically declares herself a pervert….(of justice)!

Naomi makes peace with Mr. Canon, who calls her “fundamentally courageous” and doesn’t seem to be care one bit that she almost ruined his marriage/job/life.

Dix and his Debts
Dixon has quickly descended from betting on sports to organizing secret underground poker matches. Loser Mark shows up, throws a wad of cash on the table, and demands to be included. Inevitably the game ends in a showdown between Dix and Mark, with Mark winning (and being a jerkwad about it). So Dix owes Loser Mark about $6,000. Surprisingly, Mark says he’ll forgive Dixon’s debt if Dix gets the key to the school for him “so he can decorate his girlfriend’s locker.” In an epically stupid move, Dix agrees. Of course Loser Mark reveals he was lying (no self-respecting woman would date him!) and that he and his gang of ski-masked henchmen (no, really) are going to steal the SATs. Dix talks them down by telling them the tests don’t get delivered until the morning so the pissed off ganglings trash the school. Later, loser Mark angrily confronts Dixon and claims that the test was going to get us some lettuce. (Is that something people say now? Are veggie metaphors hip? I digress…).

Since Dix wasn’t wearing a mask, his face is clearly visible on the surveillance footage his dad shows him in the principal’s office. Awkward… To Dixon’s credit (although it’s hard to give him credit, because he’s such a moron this episode), he comes clean. Harry reveals that he lied to the authorities and claimed the security tape had a glitch so that he could save Dixon from expulsion. Oh, and Dix? You’re grounded. For like, ever.

Dix blows off Ivy, but begs her to trust that he really likes her (which is sort of hard since he keeps canceling on her, cutting dates short, taking mystery gambling calls, and avoiding her questions). Loser Mark confronts Dixon outside school wanting his money. Dix inadvertently reveals that Harry covered for them, which makes Loser Mark twirl his moustache with glee, because he can now blackmail the principal!

Liam and his Dad(s)
Liam bonds with his ex-con dad and they talk about moving in together to rescue Liam from living with his alcoholic, tyrant stepfather (or, as I like to call him, Step-Bad). Papa Liam tells his son he wants to set up an honest business and just needs some seed money and oh… I think we can all see where this is going to go. By the episode’s end, Liam has stolen $10,000 worth of coins from Step-Bad and given them to Papa Liam. Methinks this will end poorly.

Casa Wilson
Debbie and Harry are at each others throats, fighting over dry cleaning and other serious life issues. Debbie demands that they go to counseling for their problems. Harry says they don’t need counseling because “we have issues, not problems.” Yeah, this is really when you want to start arguing semantics, Harry. Debbie admits that she kissed another man (scandal!)….. about two months ago. And then I start giggling madly because Debbie defends herself and screams “my yoga teacher was here when you weren’t!” Only in 90210…

Teddy and Silver
Teddy and Silver start out the episode being cutesy—which for sure means they will be miserable and wrenched apart three commercial breaks later. They get into a fight when Teddy says he wants to play pro-tennis instead of going to college and Silver is judgy and accuses him of “throwing away your future.”

She seems to realize that she was behaving like an idiot and shows up at Teddy’s tennis match having mastered all sorts of new tennis vocab to prove she cares. Silver seems genuinely supportive, but Teddy keeps trying to get rid of her. Why? Oh, well it seems that Teddy’s famous movie star father, Spence Montgomery (hi Ryan O’Neal!) is attending the match. Silver hops over to introduce herself, only to discover that he has no idea who she is (also, props to Ryan O’Neal for being hilariously dismissive). The next day, Teddy asks Silver if they “are cool.” Wow, boys are dumb sometimes.

Annie and Liam
With possibly the worst timing ever, Annie and Liam pop into the Wilson’s kitchen in time to overhear Debbie and Harry hurling accusations of infidelity at each other. Liam pulls Annie away and tries to cheer her up, saying “at least your family just started sucking—mine started sucking when I was 7.” Part of me wants to say, “shut up, Liam – this isn’t about you!” but I’m won over by his brooding cuteness.

Annie feels the need to do something crazy (always a healthy reaction to adversity – remember what happened last time you got upset? You ran someone over!). Thankfully, Annie skips the vehicular manslaughter and goes straight to romping (which is appropriate, since I think she’s actually wearing a romper…) in a public fountain. She and Liam frolic and have a good laugh until they reach “the moment” when he tucks her hair behind her ear and she looks in his eyes and… totally ruins it by freaking out, yelling “you should be with Naomi!” and running away (leaving poor Liam wondering why all women are so crazy).

Later, Liam goes to visit Naomi to commend her for telling the truth. She assumes this means he wants to get back together and declares that she loves him. His answer? “Uh, you too.”

And in possibly the most discouraging plot development ever, Evil Jen returns! She confronts Naomi at the beach club (which she has just purchased) and that she is going to exact revenge on her little sister. I’m still not sure how Jen can feel she was wronged since Jen was the one who slept with her sister’s boyfriend, blackmailed him about it, stole money from her, and so on…

This was a good ep – lots happened! What did you think? Leave some comments and let me know your two cents!

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