Gossip Girl – Recap & Review – Inglorious Bassterds

photo: cw

Gossip Girl
Inglorious Bassterds

Original Air Date: Apr 5, 2010

Farrah Kaye – Associate Editor
farrah@thetwocentscorp.com

Our dramatic gang has been up to a lot lately. Chuck lost his hotel to his mother/not mother/mother and his uncle, Nate and Serena are hot and heavy but after Nate saved Little J again her crush is sure to come back, Dan and Vanessa can’t figure their way from friends to more-than-friends and Dorota finally made her first appearance since announcing her pregnancy. In this episode, Chuck will attempt to get his hotel back and it’s Nate’s birthday. I’m sure drama will ensue.

Nate walks in on Serena with a pair of handcuffs and she’s dressed in all black (she covers up well, saying the handcuffs are Chuck and Blair’s and a part of the costume he feels is for her cell phone). It’s Nate’s birthday and Serena invites him to a gala later that night and she is going shopping with Blair while Nate is going to lunch with his grandfather. Dorota ignores Nate and asks Serena if she’s sure Nate likes this “Assassin” game they are going to play. She also takes Nate’s phone. Jack has taken over the hotel – and Chuck’s penthouse – and says Chuck isn’t the man he used to be. He says Chuck has gone “soft.” Chuck says he would do anything to get his hotel back. Oh look, Eric is back! Apparently he’s been in Japan, but for a reason unknown. Jenny is with Eric when he gets the “ignore Nate” e-mail from Serena and she leaves, saying she has to go to the fabric store. Vanessa brings Dan breakfast, who is completing his application for a writing program. He isn’t 100% done yet and she says she has a short story he can read so they swap. Jenny shows up to wish Nate a happy birthday and to thank him for saving her. He says he’s going to blow off his grandfather and hang out with her. He’s also discovered his phone is missing and Jenny couldn’t be happier. Blair and Serena are shopping Serena finds a great dress Blair should buy to show Chuck how much she loves him and Serena leaves. Jack shows up and Blair puts the dress back on the rack. Jack tells Blair that Chuck can get the hotel back but it would cost him, well, her.

Blair tells Jack no way, even if it means helping Chuck. Blair says they will find another way and she will always be by his side. Dan goes to Rufus about Vanessa’s story and how it’s not that great but now that they’re dating, he’s not sure how to tell her. At lunch, Jenny and Nate are discussing how Serena doesn’t have anything exciting planned for his birthday and he’s disappointed. Another topic is how Jenny can always come to Nate if she needs him and she orders him a birthday ice cream sundae and embarrasses him, which excites him. Dan tells Vanessa he loved her story and has no notes (ugh, a lie always comes back to bite you!) and she tells Dan she hasn’t read his yet. Serena comes to the apartment and everything is a mess. She calls Nate’s grandfather and finds out that he’s not with him. Since she has his phone, she has to dig to find out where he is. Jenny puts on this “I can’t be alone” act and Nate falls for it just as Jenny gets a Gossip Girl alert that Serena is looking for Nate. Jenny suggests going to a movie. Oh Little J, don’t play with fire! Blair finds Chuck and asks him how his talk with Jack went. Chuck said Jack didn’t offer him anything he would ever consider (aw…). Chuck gets a call and tells Blair that Jack is closing the hotel. Dorota tells Blair a package arrived for her and the card reads “One last chance to save your man…Jack.” Oh dear.

Everyone is gathered at the apartment for Nate’s birthday when a post comes up on Gossip Girl that Nate was spotted getting into a cab with Jenny (which Eric hides from Serena). Blair asks Serena when doing something for someone, how far is too far She’s very vague and says if you do something for love that crosses a line, is it okay? Serena says if you’re crossing a moral line, it’s not okay. Eric calls Jenny and she doesn’t answer – they are over an hour late. Dan offers to start taking the pictures of people and when he goes to get the camera out of Vanessa’s bag, he finds his paper, shredded to pieces in red ink. LIAH!! Blair goes to Chuck and he says that Jack has won and he has to watch the hotel close. Blair reassures him there is a way and he will figure it out. He flips out and says there is no way and that he is everything his father said he was (a loser…). Blair considers Jack’s offer. Nate and Jenny finally show up and Serena is not happy seeing him with Jenny.

Serena explains the rules of the game to everyone. Chuck opts not to play and sulks about his life. Dorota is even in on the game! She’s so cute…as she goes to leave the building and play, Vanya shows up and proposes to her. I love this really small storyline. He calls her a princess and says she makes him feel like a king. Eric runs in to them and a cute new guy who is enjoying flirting with him. Vanessa and Dan square off and he tells her he found the story. He also tells her he didn’t really like her story. Serena “kills” them both and Vanessa leaves upset. Eric confronts Jenny about being with Nate and tries to “kill” her but he lost his picture when he ran into Dorota and Vanya and cute guy. Serena confronts Nate about why he ditched her for Jenny. He tells her about Jenny being drugged and how he saved her (insert intense eye-rolling here). Serena tells him she’s a good guy and Jenny “kills” her, leaving just Nate and Jenny in the game. Serena gets back to the house and sees Chuck, who is waiting for Blair. Serena tells him she isn’t playing the game and must have left. He goes upstairs to find the gift and card. Blair goes to Jack’s place.

Blair is wearing the dress Serena had picked out for her, which was sent to her in the package. She has a contract for Jack to sign before anything happens. Bla bla bla and Chuck can never know. They both sign. Jenny and Nate are in a pantry in a restaurant, squaring off. Eric is at the apartment looking for the cute guy. Dan tells Vanessa the truth about his opinion on her paper and she tells her opinion back. Like usual they kiss and make up, but Vanessa is obviously still keeping something. Jenny tells Nate she’s going to let Nate kill her because he’s the birthday boy. Instead, she kisses him and “kills” him. Blair tells Jack she’s only there to help Chuck and she won’t enjoy it. Jack kisses her and says “thank you.” Jack tells Blair that Chuck was in on the whole plan. Jack’s goal was to destroy Chuck and part of that was to get rid of her.

Jenny and Nate are riding in the elevator awkwardly in silence and Nate reinforces that they’re just friends. Eric suspects something is up. Blair walks in the building and Chuck is standing in the lobby waiting for her. He says she betrayed him and she says she was helping him. He tells her he can’t let feelings cost him everything he’s built. He reminds her that she promised him she would stand by him, no matter the darkest thing he did – and this is it. She replies to him that she didn’t think it would be to her. There’s a slap somewhere in there, too. Everyone is leaving the party and Nate says it’s been his best birthday ever. Serena handcuffs Nate and takes him upstairs as Jenny watches on, all sad. Vanessa gets back to her dorm room when someone brings her a letter – it’s from the same writing program Dan is applying to. Eric is getting ready to leave and the cute guy he’s been looking for arrives. He says he started on the first floor and worked his way up to find him. His name is Elliot. Nice to meet ya cute boy! Blair rips off the dress and cries away her night. Chuck goes to the penthouse and calls for security to escort Jack out. Chuck says he and Blair will get passed this but Jack says now that Blair has seen the real Chuck, she’ll never come back to him. Chuck finds the contract and reads it.

Next week, Serena is keeping a secret from Nate, Blair is miserable without Chuck and Jenny still has her eye on Nate.

So, that was a lot in one episode. I’m so bored with everyone. I honestly want an entire episode based around Dorota and Vanya! I’m intrigued by the new guy Eric has found though, although I’m sure he’s got some dark mystery or agenda. Jenny needs to watch her step … but with Serena’s “secret” next week (which I think involves the arrival of Tripp, based on the voices I heard), she may actually get Nate. Dan and Vanessa need to just stop with this friends/more-than-friends drama and just BE together already. What do you think? Leave your two cents below.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine