Merlin – Recap & Review – The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

photo: syfy

Merlin
The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

Original Air Date: Apr 2, 2010

Andi – Staff Writer
andi@thetwocents.com

Welcome back everyone! This week Arthur has a bad case of Whoa-I-Totally-Forgot-All-Of-My-Characterization, Merlin has somehow become a laughing stock, Gwen’s learned to use makeup, and Uther continues to be the most ridiculous person to have ever lived on the planet or in infamy or inside our imaginations or wherever the heck he exists.

We start off somewhere in the depths of that giant secret world that exists below Camelot. You know the one… with the tunnels and caves and booby traps and mythological creatures and entire cities and even a horcrux. Yeah, that one. Some miners or spelunkers or something are digging with pick axes, apparently without regard to structural integrity at all, which is kind of rude considering all of the as yet unnamed and unrecorded beings that exist down there. They don’t care though, and dig and dig and cough and dig until they break through a wall and discover King Solomon’s treasure. Okay, well, maybe not, but they do find riches and booty and someone’s sarcophagus with a giant, heart-shaped blue stone embedded over the chest. That sarcophagus, by the way, will henceforth be known as the Big Stone Plot Hole. You’ll see why.

So, because they’ve never seen Indiana Jones, the diggers go around stomping and touching things and being generally stupid until one of them steps on a lever, which activates a booby trap, which kills one of his fellows. Way to go, tiger.

Up in Prince Prat’s chambers, he’s taken to sleeping shirtless, which is fabulous! He’s mightily annoyed though, because the ruckus going on down in the magical basement is interfering with his beauty sleep. He sends Merlin down with instructions to stop them despite his father’s orders to work around the clock. But when Merlin gets there he finds people running away, waving their arms about, flailing and screaming like extras are wont to do.

Merlin, whom, as you’ll remember from last season, has no concept of personal space, privacy or social classes, snoops around until he finds the dead guy who happens to be all grey and gross instead of just your average stiff-and-pale dead.

Sometime later, the foreman fella has popped on over to Tortuga for a drink with his pal Ragetti. And because Ragetti’s a pirate, he cons the foreman into spilling all about the booty in the basement. Pretty sad when you consider he is probably the least adept pirate since ever. Also: He’s going by the name Cedric at the moment.

Back over in J.K. Rowling’s brain, which seems to have existed in Camelot’s nether regions for centuries, Uther is prancing about all self-congratulatory because he totally said that there was treasure under the castle and no one ever listened and now he’s totally vindicated. Or something. (Does anyone watch Gossip Girl? Because it just struck me that Uther is like Vanessa and Georgina’s lovechild or something. It is horrifying.) Gaius eyeballs the king with one eyebrow arched so high it’s lifting up half of his face. You know, like he does. Then he decides to eyeball the dead guy, but with more pout so we’re to understand that it’s concern instead of incredulity.

Meanwhile, Gwen got a new dress and she looks very pretty. Arthur notices. Hussy. (Kidding! I like Gwen, so stop the hate mail. Sheesh.)

Then we get the whole story about this sarcophagus, which belongs to a man called Cornelius Sigan, who was executed for sorcery. Here’s the where the plot hole comes in: Why did he have a big fancy burial chamber in the castle basement with a designer, state of the art sarcophagus? Did he have followers with that kind of free access around the castle who never bothered to, oh I don’t know, break him out instead of letting him be executed? I don’t get it.

Anyway, Ragetti, through a series of tricks and lies, breaks up our dear golden couple, strategically landing himself Merlin’s job. Also: Merlin gets mad at Arthur and calls him a clot poll, which is apparently like calling him stupid. I was kind of irrationally irritated all through this middle part of the episode because some nasty former pirate was convincing Arthur that Merlin sucked and that’s just cheap and bad storytelling. After all of last season, they expect us to believe that Arthur would drop Merlin so rudely? After a few mishaps like that? Nope. Not buying it.

Digressing. Totally digressing. Back to the story.

Then Ragetti goes treasure hunting in the basement and plucks the pretty blue heart-shaped horcrux from the Big Stone Plot Hole. This unleashes what you may have already guessed is the soul of Cornelius Sigan, who has vowed to return and destroy Camelot. Yeah, yeah, Sigan, get in line. Merlin appeals to his recent ex-boyfriend, stating that Cedric/Ragetti/Sigan is possessed of an evil spirit. Arthur says pfft and tosses poor Merlin in the slammer.

It is at this point that Cedric/Ragetti/Sigan unleashes the wrath of the gargoyles, who come to life and terrorize the city. Arthur gets himself wounded and Gwen acts heroic and they are a little bit cute, if I’m being totally honest, which I feel I should.

Arthur runs out to save the rest of the population even though Uther forbids it, because he, Arthur, considers it a “duty to Camelot and to [himself].” Awwwww. Okay, Arty, I forgive you for breaking up with Merlin and taking up with that loser Regetti and for flirting with Gwen.

Merlin is freaking out because Arthur is losing and the castle is crumbling around them (Should have been more careful when unearthing treasure in the basement, huh?), so Gaius instructs him to seek the advice of the Slash Dragon, which, for poor Merlin, is like when your parents tell you they watch your dirty vampire show and listen to your MP3 player when you’re not home – a weird and awkward converging of separate sects of your life that makes you rethink everything you thought you understood about boundaries. Once he’s recovered, Merlin visits the Slash Dragon, who blows his sparkly, magical, dragon breath all over him and it is very kinky indeed. But the Slash Dragon only agrees to do this, thus giving Merlin the knowledge of how to defeat Sigan, if Merlin agrees to one day free him. Rough trade there, M.

A mighty battle of wits and emotions and magic ensues. But, of course, Merlin triumphs and saves Camelot… again. But I do love that the battle was precluded by a great conversation between Merlin and Sigan about how overlooked and put-upon Merlin always is, which was a huge theme this episode, but also a huge theme of the series by and large.

In the end, Uther is even more convinced that his hatred of magic is valid and vows to try even harder to eradicate sorcery. Ruh roh!

And then Arthur apologizes (sort of) and gives Merlin his job back, which is kind of like kissing and making up.

The end.

So, I have some questions: WTF Arthur? Have you totally forgotten all of season one? What happened to all that dying for each other and bffs stuff? Did we get too carried away with the boyfriends jokes? Did you decide to start over for the benefit of all the new viewers? I’m confused. Why exactly has Arthur reverted back to his Holy Pratness? Doesn’t he at least like Merlin anymore?

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