Original Air Date: Feb 9, 2010
Brittany Frederick – Staff Writer
Peter and his junior agents are hanging out in the FBI surveillance van watching some crooked financial guy have an affair with someone half his age. That’s interrupted by some gunshots and they storm the house with guns drawn to find the guy dead. Peter seizes control and they have their next case. “Murder isn’t an intellectual pursuit,” is Neal’s wise observation when he’s called in to help. But within minutes, he helps Peter realize their twenty-something hooker is, in fact, the shooter – and she’s escaped.
On the lighter side, Peter is looking for a place to crash while his house is being overhauled, and Neal tries to coerce Peter to stay with him. Rather than do that, Peter decides he’ll stay in the same place he dumped Neal in the pilot. That lasts about thirty seconds before he changes his mind. The problem is, Neal and Peter don’t exactly make great roommates either. They have an awkward morning made more awkward by uncovering the not-hooker’s hit list. Seems she has one more person left to try and steal from – Dan, a complete and utter nerd with four floors of random objects d’art that neither of them can stand.
What do these guys all have in common? Each of them owns one of a set of valuable Chinese jade elephants. Find the would-be thief and killer, find the rest of the set, avoid an international incident with some randomly appearing Chinese ambassador guy. Just another day at the office, right?
Peter’s great plan is to use Neal as a fake Dan (not hard to do when Dan is trying way too hard to be Neal) to draw out their not-hooker on a business date. He tells her that he already has the other jade elephants she needs, and proposes they join forces to maximize their payout. But the deal is blown by Neal’s fence turning up to chew him out for Peter checking her out, and the not-hooker gives them the slip in the resulting chaos. Unsurprisingly, each of them wants to blame the other for the failure.
Not-hooker breaks into Neal’s apartment instead, with a gun and a demand that he lead her to the missing elephants. Ditching his anklet purposefully triggers the alarm, though, and puts our FBI Squad into hot pursuit (with the help of June, who has laid eyes on the not-hooker. Diahann Carroll, you are all kinds of awesome). Peter discovers that in cutting his anklet, Neal used the electricity to make Morse code that leads to his location. It’s FBI Squad to the rescue…in Peter’s house.
Peter does not like the idea of raiding his own house. However, in a move of utter coolness, he gets the power turned back on so the TV, stereo and all the ights go blasting at the same time, catching not-hooker off guard and rescuing Neal. That’s right, Peter Burke doesn’t need any battering rams or fancy techniques, just a hockey game turned up really, really loud. I sort of love him for that. (Tim DeKay? Also all kinds of awesome.) In a show of gratitude, Neal books him at a great hotel with a huge TV – and out of his place.
Turns out, the appearance of Neal’s fence was something he planned all along. And when they meet again, she says she knows where the music box is – but as long as he’s a good guy, she will never tell. Way to give us something to pine over for two whole weeks!
Of course, no recap would be complete without quotable White Collar:
Neal: Murder isn’t an intellectual pursuit.
Peter: Anyone knocks anything over, they deal directly with my wife.
We’re preempted next week, but I’ll see you in two weeks!