House
Moving The Chains
Original Air Date: Feb 1, 2010
Shannon – Assistant Editor
shannon@thetwocentscorp.com
This week boasts one of the most boring patients ever. Seriously. I mean, I know the Super Bowl is this weekend so there’s a tie-in but I could not have cared less about the patient. There’s a clinic patient that we’ll get to in a bit that would definitely have made a better main story line. Trust me on this.
So we have four stories this week, Darryl (yawn), Foreman and his brother Marcus fresh out of prison, a soldier trying to get out of deployment, and Wilson and House (WilHouse) getting punked.
Football players practice while some scouts look on. One of the player’s mom talks to a scout about how good her son is. Then there’s a fight on the field between two players. Darryl picked the fight and then he starts to beat his own head in with his helmet while his mom (the lady talking to the scout) yells at him to stop. Let me just get this story arc out of the way so I don’t have to mention it again. The kid wants to perform for the scouts on Saturday but he’s sick and they can’t figure out what’s wrong with him before then. Yada yada yada, rule out cancer, rule out drugs, perform an unnecessary surgery, it’s melanoma. Seriously. That’s it.
On to the punked story: Wilson wakes up to hear House singing in the bathtub in Wilson’s bathroom. Wilson is not ok with House using his bathtub to soak his leg but House doesn’t have a tub in his bathroom. There’s an opossum in Wilson’s tub and he blames House. House takes another bath in Wilson’s tub and when he tries to get out of the tub the grab bar House installed breaks off the wall, hitting him in the face and cutting it. House declares war on Wilson. House figures out that someone is breaking into their apartment and planting the possum and loosening the grab bar to get back at House. Wilson and House lie in wait in the kitchen for the prankster until finally Wilson decides to go to bed. When he does, the smoke detectors go off and the sprinkler system cuts on, ruining the flat screen. Hey, guys, whatcha wanna bet Cuddy found out they ganked her condo and now she’s getting back? Somebody bet me a Coke.
House calls Cuddy into the conference room and he walks in doing a terribly cute impression of Hercule Poirot saying there’s a creeminal een ouwr meedst. Cuddy rolls her eyes and leaves. House makes everyone give up their alibis. House thinks it’s Foreman and accuses him of being a liar by not telling anyone about his mom. Marcus gets mad and quits.
Lucas trips House in the cafeteria. Lucas owns up to doing the pranks in the apartment! Did I not tell you all it was Cuddy? Did I? Ok, so it wasn’t Cuddy exactly but still. House says he’s going to get Lucas but good, but Lucas says that if they even so much as think about retaliation he will tell Cuddy that WilHouse took her dream place. Cuddy knows that WilHouse took the condo, by the way.
House does clinic duty and sees a military guy who pretends to see spots so that he can get out of yet another deployment so he can be with his pregnant wife. Is this some kind of political statement? Either way, House doesn’t care and won’t write the guy a doctor’s note. House tells him to move to Canada or shoot himself in the foot. Guess who shows up in the ER with a bullet in his foot? The soldier is about to be down a toe, but still isn’t out of the infantry. He can choose to let the infection spread so that he’ll lose more than a toe. This guy would have been a much better patient of the week, if you ask me. I mean, there’s real conflict here. So, the soldier lost his whole foot so he wouldn’t have to go back to war. That’s dedication, dude.
Foreman and Marcus:
House tells Foreman he needs to go pick his older brother up from prison. Foreman declines.
House hires Foreman’s prison brother (Orlando Jones)as his assistant. Foreman and his brother have words in which Foreman tells his brother that House doesn’t care about him he just wants to use him to screw with Foreman. Foreman’s brother says to stick it to House and don’t let it bother him.
Foreman goes to Cuddy about his brother working for House. Foreman says Marcus has screwed up every second chance, but Cuddy blows him off.
House tries to get info on Foreman out of Marcus, but Marcus says he’s a good guy. Marcus tells him about how he and Eric got busted for Grand Theft Auto. Foreman was only 14 and Marcus was 16. Marcus lets it slip that their mother is dead and Marcus implores House not to give Foreman crap about their mother. Which House does, of course, and Marcus quits.
Foreman goes to the halfway house to visit Marcus. He says he wants to help Marcus get a job. Essentially, House used Marcus, not only to screw with Foreman, but to help the brothers get back together on speaking terms.
So there you have it. An incredibly weird episode that was a times pointless, but entertaining at the same time. What do you think? Think WilHouse deserved having the flat screen ruined? Do you owe me a Coke? Pay up in the comments!
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