photo: hbo
New World In My View
Original Air Date: August 23, 2009
Andi – Associate Staff Writer
andi@thetwocents.com
Everybody (except Eric) is back in Bon Temps this week and boy howdy is it a mess. Thank your deities, people, Maryann’s story line appears to be coming to an overdue close! Jason Stackhouse thinks he’s Rambo, Sookie snaps out of her love-induced coma and starts getting real (and *~magical~*), Sam avoids the mob, and Tara gets Saved! Also, your recapper returns to the linear recapping now that everyone is back in Louisiana.
We pick up in the hallway of Hotel Carmilla, where Sookie is walking, accompanied by the entire string section of the Dallas Symphony. It’s hazy and soft and, given what she’s just been a part of, it’s heartbreaking. She comes to an open door and finds Eric, shirtless (yuuum) and covered in blood-tears. She kisses his tears and then…whoa, he’s grabbed her and they’re making out and it’s really sexy. Then he goes to bite her and she fondles his fangs for a minute and I actually said, “Sookie, you slut,” in the most gleefully delighted voice. Alas, it was a dream. Damn dreams!
She jerks awake in the Anubis Air charter bus, Jason practically winking at her and asking what she was dreaming about. Hee! They drive into Bon Temps and people are running around half naked, beating their heads against posts and letting themselves get hit by cars. Just think the 90’s version of Woodstock. Anyway, Sookie and Jason are completely confused, but the rest of us, well, we’re really not because we’ve been subjected to this tired crap for months.
Anyway, at the house formerly known as Sookie’s, Maryann and some of her minions are building some kind of meat-statue-matchstick-man that’s hilariously decked out with pink flowers and feathers and tri-tips and bones and crap. But honestly, it just looks like Domo. Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.
Sam is hiding in Andy’s motel room, wearing Andy’s clothes, having adopted Andy’s paranoia. Andy comes back from the cop shop with Sam’s things and reports that the station is deserted. (Where are Bud and Kenya?!) So, Sam’s all, “Okay, Andy, srs bzns time. Gotta kill us a maenad.” And Andy’s all, “Drunk. Whut? PIIIG!” And Sam facepalms and cries a little. Okay, so maybe I paraphrased. Whatever.
Sam gets a phone call from Arlene, who is at Merlotte’s, freaking out about her kids and crazy people and OMG SAM SAVE ME! Sam, like he’s Jason Stackhouse or something, totally falls for it. Oh, Sam, why are you stupid all of a sudden?
At Bill’s house, Jason leaves a message at the police station about the two crazies who jumped in front of the bus and Sookie gets all overly excited to see Bill emerge from his travel pod. Feeling guilty, Sookie? Huh?
And then out of fricking nowhere, Maxine Fortenberry comes screaming down the stairs, eyes all black, hair and makeup a mess, hollerin’ about vampires and sluts and sacrificial Sam Merlotte BBQs and OMG DO ME JASON STACKHOUSE! He is suitably freaked out. They decide to park her in front of the Wii, which is actually super funny. So, while Mrs. Fortencrazy is screaming about how she’s going to “crack open your fucking skull, bitch” everyone else powwows about what the hell is going on. Jason decides that he’s going to Merlotte’s because now that he’s been trained for a war, he’s going to have one. Sookie and Bill head over to what used to be her house to investigate, leaving poor Jessica and Hoyt with his mama.
Across town, Sam and Andy are stupid and get themselves locked in the walk in fridge by Maryann’s mob, since that call from Arlene was a big ole phony. Are you all shocked? What’s that? No? Weird. But what’s important about this awful scene is that Terry seems to have taken charge of this shit like it’s the military and do you get it? Do ya? Because I can wait until you do. Oh, you did get it? Good, moving the hell on… Ah, crap, there’s more from that stupid-ass scene that you need to know. And I thought I was done with it. Jane Bodehouse, who is still running around with no pants, is sent to call Maryann and report that she can come pick up Sam, but instead decides to call someone by the name of Peanut, who is advertised as a good time on the wall by the payphone. Now we can move on. Finally.
At Lafayette’s house, he’s got Tara tied to a chair with some fabulous scarves that I wish he’d wear more often. Tara’s whimpering and being generally annoying. Lettie Mae prays a little and Lafayette makes some prayers of his own. And then he says something fantastic: “Jesus and I agree to see other people. Now, that don’t mean we don’t still talk from time to time.” Nelsen Ellis, you’re my hero. That is an awkward-ass line, but he delivered it seamlessly.
Sookie and Bill arrive at her house and stare up at Domo Meat-Statue-Matchstick-Man for a minute like they’ve just entered the Twilight Zone, which I guess they have. They wander in and Sookie gets a call from Lafayette asking when she’s getting her sorry ass home. She says she’s home now and he panics and insists that she get the hell out of her house RFN! She’s about to do just that when she and Bill see the bull mask. DUNN! Or not.
Maryann pops up, all lame-ass threats and lame-ass smiles and what the hell ever. Even Michelle Forbes can’t carry this crap anymore and has kind of lost her awesomeness a little. Maryann does say one interesting thing in this scene: “You’ve found yourself quite the specimen. Though I daresay there’s nothing stopping him from one day leaving you cold.” Oooh, what does that mean? I hope he does it soon! She grabs Sookie and Bill busts out with the manly posturing that is just so far beyond him that it’s absurd. He bites her, which she loves, of course, but her blood sends him into convulsions and he starts vomiting all over the place like he’s Regan MacNeil or something. She turns her attention to Sookie, asking, “What are you?” And when Maryann fondles her, Sookie unleashes her Super Duper Fairy Power on her sorry ass, forcing her away. Of course, no one knows what the hell just happened, but I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with Sookie’s bloodline.
So, anyway, they turn tail and run away.
Back over in The Fridge of Ineptitude, it’s cold. Outside the fridge, where everyone is also inept, Jason shows up, dressed like a poor man’s Rambo, complete with nail gun and chainsaw. Hee! After many a misstep, he finally manages to clear the bar. He does this by threatening Arlene’s head with a nail gun, which makes everyone joyful. Then Zombie!Terry falls in a plot hole and starts hostage negotiations with Jason. It’s glaringly inconsistent. Although, I do have to hand it to Carrie Preston and Todd Lowe for selling the hell out of this ridiculous scene and being down right hilarious.
Somewhere in town, Bill’s puking out the car window like he’s on the way back from his first trip to Vegas. Sookie points out that, despite his statement to the contrary, he is not all right, none of it is. She states that she’s calling Eric, which is actually a pretty decent idea since more immortal creatures on your side can’t ever really be bad, but Bill throws his hands around in the air and bleats out that he will not turn to Eric because, hello, have you not been paying attention? He hates Eric and now he’s threatened by Eric and Bill’s little lady will not be doing things like asking anyone else for help or using a phone or making decisions or doing Super Duper Fairy Power or driving (unless Bill happens to unable for the time being). But at least Sookie stood up and suggested they do something intelligent and proactive. She’s coming around… I hope.
He questions her about the weirdness that burst forth from her hand, but Sookie hasn’t a clue what it was. They decide not to call Eric, which is stupid, but to go to Lafayette’s and see if they can get any information from Tara on how to finally kill Maryann. He has a snack from her wrist to heal him all up from the poison that was Maryann’s entire plot blood.
And Ryan Kwanten is quickly becoming the funniest person on this show. He’s fantastic throughout. So, while he’s planning a “divergence,” the mob busts through the window and retakes Merlotte’s pretty quickly. Sam, in an effort to stop the insanity and save Andy and Jason, turns himself over.
Unexpectedly, some college girl shows up at Lafayette’s looking for V. He tells her he’s closed and to come back later and he does those awesome pinching in your face things that ghetto girls always do. Okay, it’s a tie – Jason and Lafayette are the funniest mofos on this show. Bill and Sookie show up just in time to hear her asking for the V and Bill flips his lid. Lafayette simply says that Eric’s the one who has him selling, so take it up with him. Bill channels Jane Brady and stomps his foot and whines, “Eric, Eric, Eric!” Okay, maybe that’s just in my head, but whatever.
So, Sookie and Bill join forces and break into Tara’s head after much boring discussion about what ails her.
Meanwhile at Merlotte’s, the mob has hauled Sam outside, ready for their Sam Merlotte BBQ, but Jason, having lost his shirt and donned a gas mask, has climbed atop a car, waving flares about. He’s screaming about being the god who comes and how he’s totally stoked about their most awesome offering. He’s got Andy crouched behind the car, shining a flashlight up at him for mood lighting, and he’s saying things like, “I have come. And now I am here!” And “You’ll all have…uh…great weather and… err… good crops!” Everyone starts to fall for it until Terry goes, “Bullshit. God’s got horns.” It’s absolutely hysterical. So, Andy grabs a fallen tree branch and holds it up behind Jason and everyone ooohs in awe. And I fall to the ground in a ball of ridiculous giggles because it’s so silly. It’s completely sloppy storytelling, but damn if I didn’t laugh my butt off.
Sam crawls off the top of the car that they were trying to strap him to and bows before God Jason. “Smite me,” he says and Jason’s all, “I can’t hear you!” Hee! Finally, he gets it and “smites” Sam, who “vanishes into thin air.” He’s really just turned into a small creature, but the mob jumps with glee and Jason and Andy panic. The mob runs off to report to Maryann and Sam comes out of the bar, dressed in an apron, putting out bits of flare with a fire extinguisher. Jason and Andy are totally confused.
Back over at Bill’s house, Mrs. Fortencrazy is still acting like a madwoman and it’s seriously damaging Jessica’s calm. Finally, after too many insults and wild accusations, Jessukuh loses it and pins the woman to the floor, fangs at the ready. Hoyt’s towering around in the background like the gentle giant that he is, waving his arms about, begging them to stop it. But Jessica, being the impulsive teen we know she is, makes to bite her, as we jump over to…
Bill. In the previous scene, after fixing Tara, he told Sookie that he knows a vampire who may be able to help and that he’ll run off and ask her. Sookie wants to go along, but he convinces her to stay with some lame argument about taking care of her friends and family. I don’t buy it for a single minute, because he’s so overly possessive normally. Anyway, he enters a gorgeous house that may or may not be in New Orleans and is told that the queen is expecting him. I’m really excited we’re getting to Sophie-Anne so soon! But why is she expecting him? Intriguing! Anyway, he walks into her chambers and looks up as the camera pans over and we just get a glimpse of a bloody foot. Dun!
The end of what was possibly the most inconsistent, but hilarious episode they’ve ever done. Come on, what say you? Weigh in and let me know what you think.
TheTwoCents 
Overall, your recap was far more amusing than that dismal episode. After the brilliance that was last week, this one really sucked. IMO.
but instead decides to call someone by the name of Peanut, who is advertised as a good time on the wall by the payphone.
What’s your theory on that?
“You’ve found yourself quite the specimen. Though I daresay there’s nothing stopping him from one day leaving you cold.” Oooh, what does that mean?
Yeah, I LOVED that. Question is, how are the TV People going to handle it…?
But at least Sookie stood up and suggested they do something intelligent and proactive. She’s coming around… I hope.
It will make a lot of difference when she starts spending more time with Eric, a guy who instinctively knows how to work with Sookie in seamless partnership, rather than the argumentative, controlling chest-beating Bill does.
Bill channels Jane Brady and stomps his foot and whines, “Eric, Eric, Eric!”
Yeah, too bad, Bill.
Unexpectedly, some college girl shows up at Lafayette’s looking for V.
I think there’s more to that.
Anyway, he walks into her chambers and looks up as the camera pans over and we just get a glimpse of a bloody foot. Dun!
Bill appeared to recognize the person, too…
Gracias!
I don’t really have a theory on it. I just think that Jane Bodehouse is an idiot and that now that the mob appears to be able to act alone, she got distracted by the idea of a good time, since that’s the whole point of what she’s become.
Question is, how are the TV People going to handle it…?
No idea, but this is the synopsis for the finale http://truebloodnet.com/true-blood-season-2-spoiler-episode-12-synopsis/
It will make a lot of difference when she starts spending more time with Eric, a guy who instinctively knows how to work with Sookie in seamless partnership, rather than the argumentative, controlling chest-beating Bill does.
Well, that’s a long stretch of road away, I think. Yes, book!Eric and book!Sookie do have that kind of a relationship, but so far that’s not been entirely the case for the TV show. I think that will be born of their interaction in the book 4 plot line. And LOL at your description of Bill.
I think there’s more to that.
I think it’s just a vehicle to make Bill aware of Eric’s V sales, which I suspect are queen sanctioned or something. There’s much more to it than what we know.
Bill appeared to recognize the person, too…
You’re thinking it’s Hadley? I think they’re faking us out. I think it’s probably just the queen’s dinner.
Your answer about “Peanut” makes sense. I was about to overthink it and you’ve stopped me cold.
No idea, but this is the synopsis for the finale
Hmm. Things about that I like, things I don’t. They’re spinning important aspects in opposite directions again, or so it would seem.
Eric’s V sales, which I suspect are queen sanctioned or something.
I agree. Eric isn’t stupid enough to play a game like that without being sure his internationally competitive butt was covered.
You’re thinking it’s Hadley?
Yes. I think it’s a distinct possibility, and it makes sense. I think she was the “cream cheese” trying to buy V off of Lafayette, and that’s where Bill saw her.
Yes. I think it’s a distinct possibility, and it makes sense. I think she was the “cream cheese” trying to buy V off of Lafayette, and that’s where Bill saw her
Ooh, I see what you’re saying. Could be either one, really. My first thought was that it was just Sophie-Anne’s dinner, but I suppose it could be the college girl. It could also be Hadley. Hmm.
Once again – beautifully written re-cap. One thing that I am still wondering is why Andy is not affected or infected with Maryann’s influence? I thought that the townspeople were more “open” to her influence when they drink, but Andy drinks (a lot) and he is able to willingly or unwillingly avert her powers…thoughts?
Erm… plot hole? I don’t have any idea and the same goes for why it doesn’t affect Lafayette or Hoyt. Maybe Maryann just doesn’t want to zombiefy them? I really hope there’s a reason instead of it just being a glaring inconsistency.
And thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed reading!
Well, it’s debatable whether Andy is immune. Remember he was partying it up with the folks at the first party at MaryAnne’s. But maybe he was Andy being Andy. Remember Daphne said that supernaturals aren’t affected. Maybe Andy is a sup? A drunk ass sup? I’ve heard the theory floated around that you need to consume some of her food (with the heart etc.) for her to control you also. I don’t think Hoyt or Lafayette have.
Sookie wanted to call Eric because Bill was illin, not because she thought he could help out with the MaryAnn situation. Dudes puking black shit out the side of the car, his lady was concerned.
Second, I get that you people love Eric. Hell, I LOVE Eric (let me take a moment to picture him. Ahhhhhh…OK I’m back). But what you are describing, the attributes that you are giving him, have NOT been shown on the show. I get you want more hot Viking but…uh…when has it been shown that he and Sookie make a good team? When they ran into a church full of people that wanted to kill them? And how has Bill been possessive? He isn’t any more possessive than Vampires normally are. I mean they do have this whole “he or she is MY human.” That aint Bill’s fault. It’s the way them crazy vampires are made. Remember they ripped that vampires fangs out at the tribunal for macking on another vamps human? Oh you want to bring up the fact that he didn’t let Sookie go alone to Dallas with the guy that just happened to have kidnapped her good friend and kept him in a dungeon WITH a gunshot wound. Like days earlier. How about the fact that while he was being detained by Lorena he actually said “Hey, Lorena since you’re being a typical batshit crazy ex-girlfriend and won’t let me go save my new girlfriend how about you call my buddy Eric. Let him at least go and save her.” He wasn’t afraid to let him play hero then. But wait he finds out that it’s Eric who called in crazy bat shit ex girlfriend. Uh oh. Maybe he isn’t Bill’s buddy after all. I don’t even need to discuss the ridiculousness of the bullet sucking scene. So, I wonder why Bill isn’t jumping at the chance to bring back the manipulative bastard? I’m not saying Bill isn’t jealous but it’s not like he’s without cause. Bill might be many things but he isn’t stupid – that’s more Sookie’s department. I love both vampires, for different reason (how can you not mention how hot Bill was walking into the palace?) BUT jeez you people are discussing stuff I haven’t seen. That’s my two cents. Also, I kinda want Bill and Eric to be together. Now we’re talking hot.
P.S: The episode was HYSTERICAL. Some lines:
“Spite me motherfucker.”
“I had a nanny. Her name was Annie. Annie the nanny. Yeah I don’t know what that means.”
I could go on….
Well, I admit it (and have been very open about it), I strongly dislike Bill Compton. I’m biased because I had predetermined ideas about the characters from the books. And in the books he’s, to quote Sookie, “a no-good, rat bastard.” But luckily for me, I’m more into making these recaps fun and amusing rather than dissecting the characters or the show. I fully admit that they’ve been making Eric pretty darn horrible, which is annoying, given my biases and goes both ways for Bill, as they’ve been canonizing him left and right. But it’s not that I prefer to watch Eric because of these biases, I prefer to watch Eric because he’s simply more entertaining. Bill’s a wet blanket and I’ve grown really tired of the writers giving him flaws, only to retcon them the next episode. Nothing is ever his fault or his doing, and he comes across as weak and boring.
And my issue with his possessiveness isn’t about him being a vampire as much as it is about him being antiquated – I get that in season one he did all of the Suckie is mahn stuff because he needed to keep the others from hurting her or claiming her, but he’s always speaking to her in this condescending tone that grates on me. Yes, absolutely, Eric takes advantage of Sookie, but at least he doesn’t do it because she’s a woman, at least he does it to everyone and he’s entirely open about the fact that he does it. There’s something redeemable in that honesty. Maybe I’m reading into Bill’s condescension too much. I don’t know. *shrug*
I also feel like Anna’s acting suffers when she’s trying to be romantic with Stephen in front of the camera, so seeing less of that wouldn’t be bad.
And you’re right, she wanted to call Eric because Bill was sick, but I was just jumping ahead a bit logically, since it’s safe to say that the good doctor and Eric would both want to know what had done this to Bill, and then they too would be in on the defensive – or at least Area Five would be.
And I didn’t mention how hot he was because I don’t think Stephen Moyer is hot. Sorry. 🙂
Well you actually make my point which is you feel this way due to your perception and preferences and that colors what you’re seeing. Totally understand that and I’m glad you own up to it. Having favorites is important. You don’t like Bill and never will. That’s cool. My sister HATES Eric. Rails everytime he’s on the screen. She actually throws things, which is a huge party foul because I’ve got a sweet flat screen. I for one think Alex is good looking but I much prefer Stephen. Ahh preferences! But like both vampires I always feel the need to jump in when I see one or the other get ripped apart. I’m protective of both, what can I say? So, we’ll agree to disagree :). And I like your writing style!
You know, it’s funny, I think I’d be open to liking Bill if they’d gone a different route with him. And for the first few episodes of season one I thought I might end up actually really liking him, because Moyer was so charismatic and compelling, but they’ve lost me and I’ve reverted back to my original opinion of him. Too bad, really.
Look at us, agreeing to disagree. More people in the internet should do that. Thank you for that, it’s refreshing.
And thanks for the compliment!