Merlin – Recap & Review – The Gates of Avalon

photo: nbc

Merlin
The Gates of Avalon

Original Air Date: July 19, 2009

Andi – Sr. Reviewer
andi@thetwocents.com

Avalon does exist after all! W00t! But if you’re expecting to see it, don’t get too excited; we get as far as the lake but no farther. And we go there because Arthur winds up taking a nice long soak with all his chain mail on. Oh, Arthur.

And that’s exactly where we are as the show starts, with Arthur bobbing about in the lake, weighted down by all 8,000lbs of armor he’s always walking around in and a blond woman watching him with her hand purposely held out over the water. Then Morgana jerks awake and it was a dream. She is most aggrieved and so is the soundtrack.

After the credits, Arthur is out in the wilds of Camelot with his trusty swo…oh…I mean his trusty crossbow. When did he get one of those? Anyway, he’s hunting wabbit or vampires a la Buffy or something when Merlin comes jogging out of nowhere and knocks into him, screwing up Arthur’s shot. The two harp at each other for a minute, as they are wont to do, until screaming interrupts their spat.

See? I knew Arthur wouldn’t go anywhere without his sword. Nearby, some thieves have attacked a woman and her father, so Arthur buckles their swashes and Merlin utilizes his seekrit Mad Magick Skillz and the good guys are triumphant.

The girl is the same girl who was seen drowning Arthur in Morgana’s nightmare and she’s way dreamy, possibly more so than Lancelot, so Arthur is immediately smitten.

They are Ulfric and Sophia and they tell Uther that they are royal refugees from a kingdom called Ti Amore, which was sacked by “raiders.” Uther, who looks like he might be hungover, insists they stay awhile before continuing on their way to locate family in the west.

Then follows a truly great exchange wherein Arthur and Merlin discuss where to house Sophia and whether or not the room next to Arthur’s denotes his “perfectly honorable” intentions toward her. Arthur, throughout the scene, is trying on different jackets and any minute might ask Merlin if his pants make his butt look big. Hee! In the end, they decide the room next door totally denotes honorable intentions. Sheesh. Arthur tugs on his jacket a bit, looks at Merlin, who looks at him, and then they both quickly look away and run off in different directions. Err… hee hee.

Merlin shows Sophia to her room and Morgana walks by, panics because she recognizes her, and then panics because she recognizes her! She runs off to Gaius’ to confess her recent weirdness and instead of being sensible and telling her what is really going on, he pretty much tells her she’s mistaken and gives her more Ambien. One of these days that’s going to bite you in the ass, Gaius.

Out in the woods that night, Ulfric meets up with the surviving member of the troupe of “thieves” that he was “saved” from to pay up because that kind of performance isn’t cheap, you know. Mr. Thespian Thief thinks he’s getting his cash, but gets the business end of Ulfric’s magical staff of magical death instead. Oh, and his eyes flash red when he’s using what appears to be magic. Oh, who am I kidding? This is Merlin; of course he’s using magic.

Morgana’s dreams keep plaguing her and I bet she’d handle them better if you hadn’t lied to her, Gaius, you liar!

The next morning. Arthur convinces Merlin to lie (everyone is a big fat liar in this episode, apparently) to Uther so he can get out of patrol and take Sophia on a date. I’m not totally happy with Arthur in this episode. It’s mean to take advantage of Merlin like that. Somehow, I don’t think he cares. Anyway, Merlin ends up in the stocks for failing to tell Arthur he had patrol, which is a pretty effective as lies go.

Out on their date, Sophia starts whispering weird words at Arthur and he starts to look sleepy in that You’re Being Meditated Against Your Will kind of way, when an arrow suddenly almost skewers her through the head. Arthur pushes her out of the way and runs off to chew the guards new buttholes for almost killing them. He returns a moment later and insists that they head back to the castle. Sophia is annoyed as all get out and shows it by pouting her puffy lips and scrunching her brows.

In Gaius’ chambers, Merlin tells Gaius that Arthur is besotted with Sophia and Gaius is more than a little worried, but does not admit why. Instead, he, like every other person in Camelot, goes to the guest’s room and invades his privacy. What is with these people? Anyway, Ulfric shows up, yells at Gaius not to touch his stick (not like that!) and then his eyes flash red. Gauis scoots on home as fast as his little old feet will carry him.

Sophia and Arthur return to the castle, she kisses him a little, and then runs into Morgana. The two cat at each other for a moment and then hiss and spit and slink off their own separate ways.

Sophia slinks to her dad’s room where she pitches a fit about almost dying “a mortal death” and how undignified and horrid that would be. As opposed to an immortal death? So is it a toss up between being redundant or oxymoronic?

Sophia and her dad discuss how they must hurry the hell up with their plan so they can get back to Avalon and regain their true forms.

Morgana pays a visit to Arthur and tries to convince him that Sophia is bad news, but Arthur just princes at her about being irresistible and how much she, Morgana, secretly likes him. Morgana is highly annoyed. Arthur isn’t really very nice this week, you guys. I’m highly annoyed by his princely pratness, as well.

The following morning, Arthur gets Merlin to cover for him again, which gets him in the stocks again. Oh, Merlin, stop it with the loyalty. What would the Slash Dragon say about this?

Out in the forest, Arthur and Sophia have heaps of fun running down a hill, which may be the best date ever, until she finally manages to enchant him with her magical gibberish. He goes all zombie-like and starts agreeing that they are in love and will find a way to be together forever and ever and ever.

Back from his most recent day in the stocks, Merlin has a chat with Gaius, who tells him that Morgana is a Seer (and I’m shaking my fist at the screen yelling about how someone should inform Morgana of this) and that Sophia featured in one of Morgana’s dreams. Merlin is sufficiently freaked out.

Ulfric, having heard the good news about Sophia’s successful enchantment of Arthur, scampers off to the lake to chat with the elders. Merlin stealthily follows and oversees him talking to some elf-like blue creatures called the Si (pronounced: shee) about how awesome it’s going to be when he gives them Arthur’s soul in exchange for Sophia’s immortality back. I bet they’ll have a party. I bet there’ll be cake.

Merlin is not stoked about this so he runs back to the castle and tells Gaius about the evil plan. But Gaius has not been idle this whole time, oh no, he’s discovered what that magical staff does and that Ulfric and Sophia are Si, which I thought Merlin already knew, but whatever. They decide Arthur must be enchanted and that this is no good at all.

Over in the multipurpose chamber, Arthur has called a meeting with his father. He explains that he’s in love with Sophia and wants to get married. Morgana looks horrified, Gaius and Merlin look vindicated and troubled, and Uther laughs his royal butt off. As you might imagine, Arthur’s not happy about being laughed at and stomps around a bit before storming off in a snit. Oh, but not so fast; you’re forgetting who you’re dealing with here. Uther places Ulfric and Sophia under arrest and tells Arthur they will be executed in the morning if he doesn’t start showing his father some respect and stop acting like a child. Wow, Uther, that’s some extreme parenting. People should do that now. “Young lady, you will do your homework and you will not date that Spike boy or I will have him beheaded at dawn!” I think it will work.

Merlin catches up with Arthur later and tells him he’s enchanted, but Sophia and her dad show up, too. Arthur is presented with quite the dilemma: Merlin or Sophia? His head swivels back and forth a few times (Merlin? Sophia? Merlin? Sophia?) In the end, Sophia’s magic holds and Merlin is blasted with the magical staff of magical death.

Gaius finds him and wakes him up, stating that he only survived because of his Mad Magick Skills. Merlin ain’t got time for exposition and runs off to save Arthur. Again.

He gets to the lake just in time to turn the staff on its owner, dispose of Sophia and drag Arthur’s heavy butt out of the lake, where he was floating underwater just like in Morgana’s dream.

Sometime later, Merlin and Gaius are sitting at Arthur’s bedside, while the prince slumbers. He wakes with one hell of a hangover and Merlin and Gaius feed him some story about having to render him unconscious to bring him back from running off with Sophia. He wonders, hilariously, what he was thinking and demands that no one know what happened.

Morgana swings by Gaius’ chambers for more Ambien and my God people, just tell the girl! Merlin looks uncomfortable lying to her, but keeps his mouth shut because Gaius insists it’s for her own good. Oh, how Dumbledore of you, Gaius.

How did you guys feel about this episode? Annoyed by Arthur? Enchanted by Sophia? Share your cents here!