Merlin – Recap & Review – Lancelot

photo: nbc

Merlin
Lancelot

Original Air Date: July 5, 2009

Andi – Sr. Reviewer
andi@thetwocents.com

In this episode, we finally meet everyone’s second favorite personage from Arthurian folklore. Well, maybe not second favorite, but certainly third most popular after Arthur and Merlin, I would wager. And unsurprisingly he looks the part, fights like a champ, and Gwen thinks he’s dreamy. And then he leaves, breaking everyone’s hearts.

We open on Merlin gathering mushrooms for what I can only assume is a wild night in Arthur’s chambers, when Buckbeak the Hippogriff’s evil twin comes charging out of nowhere and attacks him. Before Merlin can get away, a dark-haired man rushes into the fray, stabs the beast, breaking his sword in half against its scales or feathers or hide or whatever it wears over its bad CGI self in the process. Having no real way to slay the thing, the stranger and Merlin get the hell out of Dodge, but it gives chase. They outwit the creature by running and running and running and rather anticlimactically hiding behind a log.

(And yes, it is just as silly as it sounds, but so far Merlin hasn’t been the sharpest tool in the shed and wounded darkhaired guy is, well, wounded, so maybe he needed a rest from all that fleeing and the log was the nearest place to stop? He’s really handsome, so I’m going to go way out on a limb to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Meanwhile, the Pendragons are eyeballing the wreck of a village that some man-eating flying beast has ravaged, which of course is the very same beast that tried to devour Arthur’s current boyfriend and his future one.

Having been all stitched up, the darkhaired guy, who is revealed to be Lancelot, tells Merlin that he’s always wanted a Red Rider BB Gun, but everyone keeps telling him he’ll shoot his— wait, wrong story. He’s always wanted to be a Knight of Camelot. And Merlin’s all, “Dude, Arthur, yeah, the Arthur is my bff and might even be my boyfriend – it’s complicated – and I can totally get you in!” And Lancelot’s all, “Sweet! I’ll totally owe you forever!” And Merlin’s all, “He’s totally going to love you. You don’t happen to be of noble blood, do you?” And Lancelot’s all, “Pfft, no, why?” And Merlin’s all, “Oh, no reason.” And Gaius is all, “D’oh!” And I’m all, “What the hell do you mean he’s not of noble blood?!” And the writers are all, “We’re mixing it up! It’s new and fresh!” And I’m all, “Augh!”

So, everyone despairs for a minute over this little First Code of Camelot business, which states that only those of noble blood may serve as knights, until Merlin gets an “oh-my-god-it’s-totally-not-fair”- fueled idea, which he doesn’t share with the class because he knows Gaius will hand down the mighty physician beatdown. Lancelot’s new around here, and doesn’t get what just happened, so he’s totally stoked. Merlin, meanwhile, heads off to the dank little room where they keep all of the records and legal documents to commit some identity fraud on behalf of his new best buddy.

Back in Gaius’ chambers, Lancelot is peeling potatoes because he has apparently moved in with them, when Merlin shows up with his forged papers. Lancelot says ”No way Jose!”, but Merlin convinces him that it’s okay to lie and cheat if the rules are unfair. I think this is possibly the first real ‘Merlinesque’ thing he’s done yet.

Somehow, they drag Gwen into this mess and convince her to make some fancy nobleman’s clothes for the new guy so Lancelot looks the part. The fitting is used to make certain we see them acting awkward and making mooneyes at each other, which they do with great dedication and overacting. Then it’s off to meet Arthur, and Lancelot’s barely containing his owl eyes.

Hilariously, Arthur looks at him and goes, “Lance-A-Lot?” as though it is the single most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. And then he hits him. I adore this Arthur, I really do. Then Arthur says, “Okay, you can muck my stables if you want to be a knight so badly.” Lancelot looks disappointed, but Merlin gives him a thumbs-up like he’s just won the lottery. They’re adorable, these people.

That night, Gaius and Merlin are making dinner and Lancelot comes in all grumpy and dirty. And Gaius is totally on to you, Merlin. Somehow, Merlin manages to convince him that identity theft is justified in this case and Gaius looks like he’d just rather not know what they’re up to.

The next day, Lancelot is hanging out, sharpening a sword, when Arthur drops by and challenges him to a mighty battle of dueling broomstick handles! Arthur wins, naturally, but Lancelot fights very well and gets bumped up to basic training.

Suddenly, there is a great clanging of bells and a million extras show up with bandages around their heads and soot and burns, limping and looking haggard – victims of Buckbeak’s evil twin. The Pendragons confer and decide that the creature is heading south and that Arthur and his men should track the hell out of the evil beastie and kill it dead.

Arthur decides that because he’s short on decent knights and Lancelot’s totally dreamy, his test should be moved up to the following morning. There is much swordplay and Lancelot passes, natch, and gets himself a gen-u-wine knighthood. Except for the part where he’s not a gen-u-wine noble. Uther’s not buying it and orders a servant to do a little background check, but in the meantime, they party.

Arthur and Lancelot bond over discussion of women; Merlin and Gwen debate the age old question (Arthur or Lancelot?); Morgana wears something skimpy because there are boys around; Arthur gives her this awesome appraising look like she’s something that’s been in the fridge for three weeks and he can’t decide if it’s edible or not; and everybody drinks too much.

The jig is up first thing in the morning, though, and Lancelot is stripped of his knighthood and arrested. Arthur is distressed, but he’s wearing that sexy red jacket and those brown pants and the sword…wait, what was I saying? After the, er, stripping, though not that kind, sadly, Merlin stops by the dungeon to apologize to Lancelot for getting him arrested, but the ex-knight is as noble as ever and tells Merlin not to feel bad.

Then Buckbeak’s evil twin shows up and it turns out that it’s actually a gryphon and you can only kill a gryphon with magic, but Uther has faith in Arthur and his men.

Arthur springs Lancelot from jail and Lance is all, “I thought your dad said you couldn’t play with me anymore.” And Arthur’s like, “He did. You have to go play in someone else’s kingdom.” And Lance is all, “But I don’ wanna.” And Arthur’s all, “I didn’t tell my dad I was coming here and if we get caught, we’re so dead. GTFO RFN!”

So Lance scrams.

Arthur and his knights ride out to kill the gryphon, but Merlin and Gaius know better, so they get to work on perfecting the magic words that can kill it. Then they discover that Lancelot has run off to try his hand at killing it on his own, so Merlin heads off to catch him up. They make their way to the knights, but everyone’s dead except Arthur, who is unconscious. Lancelot, with the super sekrit magical help of Merlin, jabs a javelin right through the beastie’s chest and it dies. Arthur wakes up and is wildly impressed by his future bff, betrayer and boyfriend. Merlin slinks off undetected by Arthur, lest he have to explain what he’s doing there.

Back at the castle, Arthur and his dad have some serious words about the nobility law and out in the corridor, Merlin shows up and Lance tells him that he saw the super sekrit magic, but vows not to snitch.

Arthur tries to convince Uther that Lancelot deserves to be a knight and he damn near wins the argument, when Lance barges in all, “I lied and that’s wrong and now I feel bad because I’m noble even if I’m not nobility, dude, and I’m also totally dreamy, but I must go and someday I will return with honor and totally sleep with your wife and be your best friend forever.” (Okay, maybe I paraphrased a bit.)

Arthur is very sad but it’s hard to tell if that’s because Lancelot is leaving or if it’s because Lancelot just completely ruined all that headway he’d been making with Uther over this stupid rule.

Lancelot rides off into the sunset and everyone is horribly miserable to be going back to their normal, Lance-less lives. Woe.

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