Desperate Housewives – Recap & Review – Chromolume No. 7

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Desperate Housewives
Chromolume No. 7

Original Air Date: Mar 14, 2010

Farrah Kaye – Associate Editor
farrah@thetwocentscorp.com

Hey all! Annette is out for the week so you’re stuck with me for the two Sunday night ABC shows (Brothers and Sisters is my normal show). Wisteria Lane has been pretty nutty lately and tonight’s episode looks like things are getting nuttier. Gaby and Angie head to NY to get their kids (and Angie needs to make sure her secret doesn’t come out), Katherine is trying to figure out if she’s gay or not, Lynette keeps having kid problems, and Bree has some mystery guy working for her which doesn’t make Andrew happy (although I’m just happy to see Andrew on the screen).

Preston is coming home! He’s been in Europe this entire time, waiting for that whole big murder debacle to be over with. He comes home with – EW – a pornstache and a hot blonde, Irina. They’re in love. Aw. Ana is in NY and is not happy about her currently modeling gig, for a tool magazine. Danny shows up on her set and she is not happy to see him. He tells her about Gaby’s plan to send her to NY and tear them apart and she doesn’t even put up a fight against the argument. She says she’s being sent on crappy jobs from the agency and now it makes sense why. Angie goes to Gaby asking for Ana’s address because she’s going to NY to get Danny and at first she says no, until she finds out that Ana knows what she did. She decides to tag along with Angie. Susan gets all dressed up to go out on a fancy date with Mike to celebrate paying off his business loan – only she paid it off for him and he’s angry about it. New creepy guy is impressing Bree with ideas for her new cookbook. Oh yah, his name is Sam (sorry, I forgot!) and looks oddly like Andrew. I call secret love child, not secret lover. (And no, I have not seen the episode or read spoilers, FYI.) Andrew does not like Sam and is even unhappier when Bree promotes him to be VP, just like Andrew. Robin and Katherine are in bed and Katherine is wide awake with his “OMG” look on her face when the doorbell rings and Susan asks Katherine to come shopping with her. Susan feels like Katherine is shutting her out when Robin comes down and kisses Katherine in front of Susan and calls her “hun.” Susan asks Katherine if there’s anything she wants to tell her? Awkward much??

Ana and Danny are walking around NY when he knocks on someone’s door. It’s an old lady and he says to her “I think you’re my grandma” and she calls him Tyler (the name he called himself when he was in the hospital, remember?). Gaby is trying to bond with Angie on the flight to NY but Angie really doesn’t feel like bonding (wonder why?). Preston and Irina are telling the story about how they first met – at a topless beach. Did anyone else just gag a little bit? Lynette thinks Irina has an agenda, and is already finding out that Preston has been spending a lot of money on her. Susan tells Mike about Katherine and Robin’s rendezvous, which he thinks is weird. Susan offends Mike by telling him he is a “generous lover” and has a feminine side. Tom thinks Lynette is overreacting about Irina and that she’ll move on soon enough (when the money runs out?). Preston comes in and tells them he proposed to Irina – and she said yes (surprised??). Lynette tells Preston about her worries and Preston says he wants his grandmother’s ring and Lynette says no. Preston says she has to give it to him because Nana said when he got married, he got the ring. He gets upset and says maybe coming home was a bad idea.

Gaby and Angie are in the lobby of a hotel waiting for Gaby’s friend when they see Heidi Klum. Gaby says she’s friends with her and when she goes to talk to her, Heidi is not happy to see her (Gaby played a prank on her back her modeling days and leaves angry). Gaby’s friend, Luke, finally shows up and tells Gaby that Ana walked off the set and Danny came and took her away to “stay with relatives.” Angie, hidden behind sunglasses and a scarf, goes to see her mother, who promptly slaps her after hugging her. She is not happy to know that Angie is coming to take Danny/Tyler away. We’re back to talking about that Patrick Logan guy Angie had visions of when she was waiting in the hospital when Danny/Tyler was knocked out. She is afraid Patrick will find Danny and Patrick will turn her into the feds. Katherine goes to Bob and Lee about her “gay” situation and needs to figure things out. Bob says she would know 100% for sure if she was gay or not. If she needs confirmation, she should take sex out of it (which is hard considering they live together). Bree is introducing Sam to the staff when Andrew comes in drunk. When Sam tries to escort him out, he shoves Sam into a rack of pots and pans, causing him to fall to the floor, and excuses himself for the rest of the day.

Lynette goes to the jewelry store and shows the jeweler her grandmother’s ring and wants a cheap copy of it. Her plan is that when Irina finds out Preston gave her a cheap ring, she’ll leave him (and she doesn’t care if Preston gets mad at her … she has a dozen more kids, right?). Mike decides to show Susan how macho he is by throwing her down on the island in the kitchen but things are not going well and end with him falling to the ground. He tells her he’s upset because he feels he can’t provide for his family if she’s the one paying off his loan. He swore he’d always take care of his family. Susan says she’ll put a stop payment on the check so he can pay his loan off. Gaby calls Ana, who still isn’t answering her calls, and runs into Luke with Paulina Porizkova, who doesn’t have a good memory of Gaby either. Luke tells Gaby she was the “queen b*tch diva” which is why her career went down in flames. Bree goes to Sam’s place to leave an “I’m sorry” basket of muffins and finds he lives in a trailer. His neighbor says to go ahead inside and leave the basket, even though he’s not there. Bree snoops around a bit and sees a picture of a young Sam with Rex (remember him?). Sam walks in and tells her that Rex was his father. Bree runs out before Sam can explain.

Preston says Irina loved the ring and went to a jeweler to get it sized immediately. She comes home and is not wearing her ring and tells Lynette she can’t take it because it’s too precious to give to someone she doesn’t know. When Irina says she knows “exactly how much it is worth” with a nasty grin on her face, Lynette knows Irina has figured out what she did. Angie goes back to see her mother when a neighbor sees her walk in. Angie wants to tell her mother something about Patrick. Gaby finds Ana finally and tells Ana that she sent her to NY to get away from Danny but it winds up Luke thinks she’s talented but has a bad attitude and doesn’t want her to go down in flames like she did. When Danny goes back to his grandmother’s and sees his mother, she tells Danny to leave with Angie but they can keep in contact now. And we still don’t know about the Patrick Logan situation. Ugh, annoying! While Gaby is waiting for everyone to say goodbye, Angie’s mother’s neighbor asks where they are visiting from and, not knowing the big secret, Gaby tells her. Sam is standing outside of Bree’s house and she doesn’t want to speak with him but Orson convinces her to. Rex got Sam’s mother pregnant right before he met Bree and chose to be with Bree instead. He visited a few times but eventually stopped. Sam used to ride by their house when he was younger, trying to figure out why Rex chose them instead of him and his mother. Sam’s mother died recently and it made him want to meet Bree. As Bree hugs him and invites him in, Andrew looks on.

Robin comes home from a wedding (where she caught the bouquet) to Katherine, who is very distant. Katherine says she was drunk and the night they had together was a mistake and she’s sorry. Robin says it’s crap but Katherine says no matter what it was, it doesn’t count. Robin says they connected and it did count – and kisses her. Katherine says “okay, it counted” but I think this is long from over. On the flight home, Danny is obviously not happy with Angie. Gaby tells Angie she knows she has a secret – from when her and Carlos overhead her and Nick talking about blowing their cover – and offers her friendship since she knows what it’s like to carry around secrets. Angie tells Gaby when she was younger, she wanted to save the planet, so she held rallies, protests, etc. And she got involved with a bad guy and long story short, someone was killed. Since then, they’ve been running from this bad guy. Said bad guy? Danny’s father. Angie’s mother’s neighbor calls Patrick Logan and says she’ll tell him where Angie is living when she gets her money. Uh oh.

Overall, an okay episode. I’ll be honest, I haven’t enjoyed this show in about a year and they are grasping at storylines each week. Knowing Katherine is leaving (is it really smart to promote her on Castle already?) doesn’t help their case much. I was happy knowing the show would end next year and could see the stories ending. But with three extra years now, I’m just … bored. I’m glad we finally know a bit more about Angie/Nick/Danny’s secret and that Gaby was finally honest with Ana. The Preston storyline I could’ve done without but at least it gives the Scavo’s something more to deal with than who has a job and the baby. I’m looking forward to the Sam vs. Andrew fights I’m sure will come up and how Bree will handle that. Susan and Mike? Could’ve done without them. What did you think? Leave your two cents below!

A hilarious line of the night: “You’re not gay. As much as you think you can switch your entree from meat to fish, this is not a choice.” – Lee to Katherine

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